Chuck vs The Lemon
by Shutupnkissme313
Summary: Rewatching past episodes there was always something I didn't like about The Pink Slip. Just thought I'd add a little something to it and see how Team Intersect felt about the encounter at the restaurant. I also dabble in what could have happened in Season 3 if this happened.
1. Casey's view

_**A/N: I'm working on three stories at once and this is the one that I've made the most headway with. This happens during Chuck vs The Pink Slip right after Chuck forces himself into Sarah's and Casey's mission. I had to separate this as it was getting too long. Note I will not be repeating verbatim for Chapter 3; that will make more sense going forward. It should be interesting as I have two of the least talkative characters providing the setup. **_

**Chuck vs. The Lemon**

**Chapter 1 Casey Perspective**

As the Colonel finished his oral briefing to the General, he took some consideration as to how different it would have been had he not reviewed the footage. '_That's funny'_ He mused to himself since Walker was the person who started him with this ritual. She said that it offered a full perspective and surprisingly enough there was something seen that would explain 'his' actions. That was part of it but he also knew that she wanted him to have a cooling off period to protect her moron.

'_Her moron, huh, maybe not anymore'_ obviously something had happened while he was off wasting tax dollars on his spy training which failed. The replay confirmed a few things he had thought he'd seen: first was something not to go in a report but file away, the look of satisfaction on Walker's face after she knocked him out _'He really screwed up' _and secondly what did go in was the laser pointer focused on Walker as Bartowski was trying to tell him locate the assassin. He saved Walker, but theoretically blew the op; although when instead of a mark you get an assassination attempt the op was blown long before Chuck came along. '_Damn Ring always seems to be one step ahead of us'_. He was going to bring it up to Walker on the drive back, but she was clearly not in a talking mood. Entering Castle he got little more than a grunt #7 (yes) on whether she wanted some coffee '_Still can't believe Bartowski actually made a grunt list with audio accompaniment and gave copies of it to Walker, himself, and the General. Then the General actually corrected one of them.' _After setting up for his review he was bringing Walker the coffee she grunted for and was going to see what she thought about the possible leak. After seeing a number of crumpled report forms already on the ground and her complete focus on the form in front of her he just set it on her desk and went back to get his report done.

This brought him back to the present as the General was looking over a few other items on her desk, he did some analysis on where they are, what had happened, and more importantly why the three of them were placed in this situation. If they were going to find and eliminate the Ring he needed to find out more about what went wrong in Prague than 'It's not working'.

"General, what really happened in Prague?" the forcefulness of his tone surprised both himself and from her look the General's as well.

"Well, Colonel. I was just about to say that your report mostly correlates with the first report I received."

'_First report? We left the op only 2.5 hours ago and there was no way Walker finished hers, the only other report would be from the agent who was probably just finishing up onsite; unless there was another person monitoring the action and reported right after.'_

"Colonel, I understand the reason you're asking the question, although not the tone that it was asked in." She replied as forcefully as the Colonel.

"Sorry Ma'am, but the 2.0 did appear to be functioning tonight." He answered contritely.

"It is somewhat of a mystery. When we first started he was handling everything far beyond our best case expectations. I was scheduled to be there for the first two weeks and then his final one, but he finished all of those tests within five days. We gave him a full day off and started him again with no problems I left after that, but was given daily reports on his progress. He was able to maintain this accelerated pace and finish his training at least three weeks early with the only drawback his inability to kill. He was quite proficient with incapacitating people and using a tranq pistol, but was unable to pull the final trigger. Considering everything else going so well, we planned on pairing him with a sniper as backup."

Grunt #24 (Babysitting duty) came out reflexively.

"Actually Colonel it would have been anybody besides you" she answered with a tiny, tiny grin.

Grunt #3 (Huh?).

"He is used to you protecting him so it would be counterproductive for this purpose. A psy-ops workup predicted to remedy this stated two factors. First is to numb him and make him accept that these people would die anyways while also combining that with guilt by letting them live it would eventually bring harm to his family as they would repay his kindness with retaliation. They felt this would be enough to make him conform." She stated stoically.

Casey could not hide the grimace upon hearing this. He knew Bartowski had the physical skills to be an excellent shot; whether from Duck Hunt or other assorted video games he had a good eye, but he was somewhat of a natural as he displayed good form and balance. From the one time Chuck convinced him to play Laser tag, initially he was pleasantly surprised until his 'team' turned against him by letting Morgan simply walk up behind him and eliminate him. After a death stare he went up to the observation area and decided to assess Bartowski. As many of the Buy Morons eliminated each other there was a group of five that looked experienced in tactics. Chuck found the optimal place and displayed what separates the good from the very good: patience. He had a clear chance to take one out but with two others nearby he would have given his location and most likely been taken out. He waited and got a better opportunity and ended up as the sole survivor. After a well-earned victory Chuck surprised him again by coming up and apologizing saying if he had known they were going to do that he would not have asked him to come knowing how important loyalty is to me; even in a silly game. I returned the surprise by stating I was impressed with how he played and that with just a little work he could be really good. The only thing lacking is the mentality, he wouldn't kill to protect himself, but he would if it were to protect Ellie, Morgan, or Devon. Sarah, hell there's no doubt in his mind if to save her he'd put three in the chest of anybody who'd try to kill her. Regardless he could not see where Chuck could do it upon command. If anybody in the game were to ask he'd say Bartowski doesn't have the stones to pull the trigger where the truth is he has the stones not to. Problem is you don't last long as a spy with that mentality.

The General continued "Since he would have had backup on his first missions just to evaluate the Intersect out in the field it would not have changed the parameters".

Casey suddenly picked up on the usage of pronouns or Intersect instead of his name and the consistent usage of the past tense gave his stomach a slight twinge, but managed to say, "OK, sounds like Bartowski was on his way. What changed?"

"After he did the shooting obstacle course; unofficially, because it wasn't at Langley, he beat your time by four minutes." '_Damn! The closest anybody had come to his time was Larkin and he was still three minutes behind him' _"There was a scheduled break and said there was a bakery/café recommended to him so he took an order from the crew."

"And?"

"And, he was late coming back. He was called, but did not answer which caused a panic. However his tracker and hacking into street cameras confirmed his whereabouts. As he remained there another half hour a group was sent to get him. When the team got there he was still in the same place and apologized saying he was just going over everything and just lost track of time. "

"So that was when things changed?" This must have been where he and Walker had their falling out, or knowing their lousy timing made a mistake on when they were meeting and they figured the other blew them off. Or she wanted to run and Bartowski picked the worst time to grow a pair. Their reactions made him lean towards this option.

"Correct, knowing him it was assumed to be a family issue. However we could not find any unauthorized communications with him or that bearded friend of his. We even sent local agents to check on them. The sister had just returned from their honeymoon. Unfortunately the agent checking on the furry one ended up in the hospital as a misflipped shrimp ended up in her eye."

Grunt #5 (Moron!).

"Agreed Colonel, we also reviewed footage and nobody spoke to him at the café after he placed his order. The workers there all checked out and nothing was found in his blood work. The only oddity was that it took him ten minutes longer to get there than was estimated."

Grunt #46 (well there it is).

"Yes, but he said he was admiring the architecture and turned down the wrong street and ended up backtracking to find the café."

"That certainly does sound like Chuck."

"It did make sense to us as well and so the testing was continued with the Fielder Extraction next, and he seemingly made the mistake every agent makes."

"The second alarm."

"Right, however his reaction to it caused some surprise as he started swearing."

That did catch Casey by surprise, "While Chuck is a boy scout, I'm sure…"

"Colonel, he went on a three minute tirade going through the mission adding F-bombs as every second or third word."

Casey had a small smile as he remembered his tirade was strikingly similar however he was able to curtail most of it internally, well maybe not most, "General you did say seemingly?"

"After the footage was reviewed he had deactivated the second alarm. It turned out the tech was busy setting up the next test and assumed he had forgotten to turn it on when he got back."

"Well, if Chuck actually succeeded how did things go wrong?"

"Because of his reaction and since he had done everything else brilliantly, the main instructor felt it best not to tell him and see how he reacted to adversity." She said as a scowl started.

"So, what did they tell him his mistake was?"

Shaking her head she said, "They told him to figure it out."

"WHAT!" Casey paused as he swore he heard an echo, but after a quick scan with nothing unusual continued, "General, that is the worst thing for Chuck, who knows what his imagination would come up with for his mistake and paralysis by analysis is the worst thing for a field agent."

"I did not agree with their method and told them so, however by the time I was notified they had already done the next test and the spiral started."

'_They were really pushing the pace with Chuck'_ "What was the next test?"

"The Five minute Drop and Grab."

"What happened did Chuck get caught humming the Mission Impossible theme?"

"No, the scenario was set up so that was not an option".

"But that was the purpose of this test: balance and control." Casey said with a hint of frustration.

"Yes, but also it was to test the imagination, before the damned movie, and the main instructor knew enough about Chuck that he wanted to test his imagination."

"What did he come up with?"

"To avoid the pressure plated floor he walked on his hands in the ground joints."

As Casey looked at his hands, "How was he…?"

"He only used his thumb and forefinger."

Casey could only shake his head at the combination of balance and strength to accomplish the initial position let alone moving like that, "How long?"

"Fifteen minutes".

"And the instructor gave Chuck no leeway" Casey growled.

"Yes, even though given the scenario no other simulation could be found less than thirty minutes, in addition a few other people who did not see his performance when told by him his time laughed at him."

Grunt #12 (Dicks!) "Why would you allow them to change the specs so drastically and did they treat him like this all the time!"

"I guess that makes you the pot and not the kettle. Almost all his instructors gave him high marks and still felt he had what it takes despite the setbacks, mostly blaming the accelerated pace. One though said despite his impressive physical skills, in her opinion he would be more effective in the long run as an analyst due to his personality."

"Mind if I tell Walker she's a brunette" Casey smirked; although not happy with how Chuck was treated if the team is reformed it never hurts to have ammunition stockpiled.

"Well she is", the General answered with a shocked look as to why that was important, "No Colonel the instructors and techs liked and respected him even more with what happened next."

Grunt #6 (Surprise)

"The tech who blew the previous test told him what had happened; despite fearing his wrath he felt guilty."

"Chuck… wrath?"

"I'll get to that, his next test was scheduled for the next afternoon, so he worked with the tech creating a program that interacts with the scenario allowing feedback and keeping track of what has occurred. After checking the code it has been installed in a few tests at Langley, and has already shown positive results."

Grunt #79 (That is just like Bartowski).

"Agreed, his wrath was displayed two days earlier when our top martial arts instructor made some disparaging remarks" she paused.

Grunt #11 (Tell me more).

Grunt #1 (Who the hell do you think you're talking to)

Casey's face drained of color for a moment but soon recovered, "Sorry General, but Chuck is not a violent person. He'd do his best to protect family and friends." The Colonel closed his eyes, "What did the asshole say?"

"Apparently when asked why he had done so well, he would attribute it to you and Agent Walker. The instructor said he had a relationship with Agent Walker."

Grunt #16 (Oh boy)

"Yes he went into a quite graphic description of a liaison between himself and Walker after she picked him up in a bar. He said they scheduled to meet the next week, but when he got there he saw her leave with somebody else. Out of curiosity, he showed up the next week and she left with somebody different. So if it was the same blonde haired, blue eyed whore, it may be the time to invest in penicillin." She said with a hint of disgust having to repeat that.

Casey noticed the temperature of the room rose suddenly at least ten degrees and checked the thermostat, satisfied that it was still working, shook his head and stated earnestly, "Ma'am that does not sound like Agent Walker at all. How did Chuck respond?"

"He said 'There's nothing I will learn from you so consider this my final exam so you better bring it bitch!"

Grunt #13(Whoa)

"I was just watching the footage from the fight, while the trash-talking lasted about five minutes; I have an edited version containing just the fight. I just sent it to you so take a look."

Casey opened the video file and started watching as the initial frown as Chuck had one arm held behind his back slowly changed to a grin as he held off everything the sensei was throwing at him with minimal effort. The sensei made a lunging move which Chuck anticipated springing into a jump punch with a primal scream that was only dwarfed by the sound of the sensei's jaw breaking.

"Way to go Chuck, Yes! ... Sorry General" as Casey realized, albeit an asshole, the man down was serving this country. He also noticed that Chuck motioned the physician over right after the punch, he held a cool demeanor throughout the encounter and although from just what the General told him the guy earned the broken jaw, afterwards Chuck must have felt horrible.

"It was impressive, wasn't it? That was the highlight as it showed what the Intersect was capable of. Despite the tech's admission nothing clicked as it had before; then there were occasions where the Intersect would not flash which became more frequent. Almost everybody there showed concern which somewhat compounded the problem as they asked if there was anything they could do making him more self-conscious and prone to mistakes. I cleared some things to see if there was anything I could do, but in a relatively simple escape scenario the Intersect would not flash for his escape. At that point the only thing to do was close up shop and send him home as his position needed to be reevaluated. After last night's episode a decision has been made and it is for the best."

As Casey was about to respond he heard a tiny, garbled 'No', "General, I think I heard the door open; let me check on Walker."

The General answered immediately, "Go" and watched as Casey disappeared behind a corner.

As Casey turned the corner he found her sitting on the ground with her arms wrapped around her legs, with for just a moment a broken look upon her face. "Walker… Walker" with no response in a more forceful, but still hushed tone, "Sarah". As she looked up he did not want to look into her eyes, "Sarah, I don't think she could do it again, but do you really want your last memories to be from this mission. Go!"

As he was talking she was getting up although a little shakily, she looked quizzically, then nodded and ran off. Casey took a deep breath to find his calm center and returned to the monitor. The moment he turned the corner he was quickly questioned.

"Was that Walker and what did she hear?"

"It was General, and she heard enough so that she is heading over to Chuck's right now. The thought was crossing my mind as we've been talking for an extraordinarily long time, avoiding Chuck's name, constantly using the past tense in referring to him, and anytime somebody says a decision has been made and it's for the best means that there is one person called upon to make a sacrifice. Especially after all this kid has done and been through I just cannot believe…" The Colonel suddenly stopped as two things suddenly crossed his mind: first he just told Walker that Chuck at one time did have a hit put on him and second while she has given him leeway in the past, completely disrespecting your commanding officer was something that the General did not deserve. He quickly looked down.

"Colonel, while not shocked by your outburst, I am glad you do have some control before you said something that you would truly regret." She stated with a look that has made other Generals cringe, she then took a breath, "While that option is always available it would be very difficult for me to give his termination order. Granted the likelihood of me placing the order is greater than the ability of either Walker or you to complete that mission. However, that thought crossed his mind, or as it turns out was suggested by his brother-in-law as he contacted me to discuss the possible options for him."

"Options, Ma'am?"

"Well Colonel, glitchy or not obviously the Intersect is extremely valuable and cannot be left exposed out in the open. So there are the three options that have been there since this began: elimination, which is an extreme last resort; second place him with a protective detail; and last bring him in."

"Wait, was last night a test to see how we still work together?"

"Colonel, last night was an important mission to find a crack in the Ring. However as a secondary mission it was vital to see how you three were able to interact. While your report showed some promise. It wasn't enough to counter the original report; so he is being brought in."

"Who wrote the initial report?"

"Chuck did." Casey was shocked. "Colonel, contact Agent Walker and tell her to come back."

"I doubt she will, but I'll make the call." Casey dialed and not surprised as it went to voice mail, "The goose is not cooked, but the head chef is putting him in the freezer."

"Interesting code. I take it she did not answer."

"Affirmative"

The General sighed, "Bartowski sent me a letter to give to Walker in her next mission brief."

"He didn't mind you reading it?"

"Well I said I wouldn't and he responded about not needing a 49B where he was going. John, has something changed where they can no longer work together?" She voiced with concern.

"General, it isn't my…" The look staring back at him was the equivalent of a Grunt #32 (Come on moron), "So you read the letter."

"Please, it is painfully obvious; with the right results I can overlook it, but if it is a detriment I need to limit how many people know and I don't want to create a revolving door of agents, he won't work with."

"General I do not know what has happened to them that displayed itself last night. I know Bartowski doesn't think he measures up to what Walker wants and Walker thinks she has done too much in the past to be with Chuck. I have had nightmares where I've interceded to finally get them over it. One was a cabin in the deep outback; another time was in the bedroom here in Castle."

"Nightmares?"

"They do tend to resolve their issues with fervor, over and over. The only thing stopping me from scooping out my eyeballs is they haven't seen anything."

A belly laugh from the General catches Casey off guard, "That's another order I don't think I can give". Both started laughing, "This is not what I signed up for" the Colonel retorted garnered laughs from both of them as well. As a realization hit both that while Bartowski is the cause for their laughter, he also made it possible for them to laugh. _'Damn moron'_ both thought as the moment of mirth was replaced with a serious discussion.

"General, I am not sure Bartowski will function in a bunker."

"The plan is a bunker for about two weeks as the finishing touches are put on more of a research facility. The 2.0 was designed for field work so Chuck's training will continue at a more standard pace. However as a central figure he can help out operatives all over the world and not just Burbank. When he is ready he will be out in the field as I do not think we prevail over the Ring without the Intersect in top form."

He could see that there were some advantages to this and with an end game Chuck should be able to handle the facility, but he was not completely convinced. "General, what if Walker convinces him to stay?"

"Why do you think I asked the question about them earlier? If Walker shows up… hold on." The general pushes a button, "Hold on extraction until further notice. Colonel I somehow doubt 'if' comes into play I don't need the extra paperwork on an extraction team's decimation."

"Wise call Ma'am, although when Chuck tells Walker that it is his idea to go underground, the Intersect may be slightly bruised." The Colonel grins, but adds, "Sorry. I've dealt with Walker before Chuck, with Chuck, and just recently after Chuck and without a doubt she is at her best with Chuck despite the lady feelings, mostly from Bartowski."

"Colonel"

Understanding the next question, "General, I will go to where I am assigned and although there are drawbacks to any post being on the kick ass team makes all the difference."

"Thank you Colonel, I of course will not tell either that it was your choice to stay."

"One last question, General".

"Go ahead"

"I will admit to being the pot. However, I wouldn't mind comparing notes with the kettle." To emphasize the point as he was saying the last words the unmistakable sound of knuckles cracking was heard.

"Actually that is the last point I was going to bring up to you as option 2 seems to be back on the table. While I do not condone many of the actions he attempted in Prague there is a reason behind it. He is in charge of the operation against the Ring. He has spent almost six years both trying to uncover them and state they were a larger threat than Fulcrum. He has been given the highest clearance, so he was the only person in Prague that knew Bartowski is the Intersect. He needs to know the limits and push him to them."

"Until he broke".

"As I've said I don't agree with what he did. However at some point he will go to Burbank and take control of the team. Colonel, it is imperative for Bartowski and Walker not to know of his role in Chuck's training. I believe a loss of trust hampered it and I don't think Walker would be receptive either to somebody who treated Chuck in this fashion. If she convinces him to stay."

"Understood." As he let out a deep breath, "What is his name?"

"Daniel Shaw."


	2. Chuck's view

_**A/N: A word of warning as the first 3 chapters should be entered fairly quickly as they are written, just need to be typed; yes I work better with pen/paper, on the computer I end up typing in terms of Zork- Maximum Verbosity. So I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Hope my fellow Americans had a safe and happy 4**__**th**__** of July, and for those from other countries to be happy and safe as well. Thanks for giving this a chance.**_

**Chapter 2: Chuck's Perspective**

As he opened the door to his apartment he felt a slight breeze kiss his cheek, the pain another reminder of how his first mission back in Burbank went FUBAR. '_At least Awesome was able to drag Ellie away for the weekend… or did they have a double shift.' _His mind clouded over from the combination of the failed mission and worse cheese ball detox. _ 'While it's still fresh I'd better talk to Beckman, maybe I can get a better bunker now rather than waiting until the morning, after Casey and Sarah have their reports in.' _Besides scheduling it ensures he has the chance to explain things to Ellie, Morgan, and Sarah to the level that each will understand and be ok with him gone for some time.

Upon entering his room he locks the Morgan door, '_It would be just like him to show up now, in fact why was he back? He still should be in Hawaii training. He was fully outfitted sans the hat or did he have it on?_' It saddened him that he may never find out, but felt confident that this way there was at least a chance.He turned on his television, "General Beckman".

"Yes Chuck, I am waiting on the preliminary reports; was there something you wanted to add?"

"Actually General, even though it looks like I won't be an agent, I figured I might as well do a mission report once. Although I am told I can ramble so please feel free to …"

"Bartowski" she barked.

"Sorry Ma'am" with that he relayed the events of the evening to his boss, not finding a better term in his mind to describe her he continued forth. Much to her surprise he delivered a report better than most of her current agents; rather succinctly, especially considering the source, but in great detail. "So General, right now I think it would be in the best interest if I took the bunker option. Sarah and Casey had everything set to work when I came in and sabotaged it." He did leave out the lemon references and that the only time Sarah seemed remotely happy to see him was as he was falling to the ground; that was his problem and not theirs.

"Are you sure about this, if they were aware of your participation, I'm sure the plan would have been altered to work."

"Well they probably would have added a car to tell me to stay in but then not much else would have changed." He chuckled to himself, "Besides your best operatives have had to put up with me for two years, for that they deserve a medal not a small reprieve before being called back to babysitting duty." He paused and took a breath, "How bad is the bunker?" as he audibly gulped.

"It's not quite a gulag," as a small, but noticeable smile showed, "Honestly, I had not planned on you making this decision so quickly. There are two places that have most of the proper facilities, but each needs some time to be fully prepped for your arrival. You would be placed in a holding facility right away, then move you once the final site is ready. I can have you picked up within a half hour if you are ready now."

"Well the reason I called you now was to give me a little time to prepare to go. I am leaving notes for Ellie and Morgan. I promise I will not reveal anything, but I cannot completely abandon them. That would be too much and I've already put them through more than they deserve. Plus without any word Devon will think the worst and at some point will tell Ellie he thinks I'm dead and why. My plan is to tell them that the company is giving me a second chance; however it is in deep Africa. This can explain why communication will be difficult if not impossible. If it is not too much trouble I would like to be able to speak with her on her birthday, anniversary, Christmas, and Mother's Day."

Upon hearing the last one General Beckman sighed and said, "I'm sure that could be arranged and as long as things are progressing perhaps more often than that".

This news brought out the first relaxed smile Chuck could remember having in quite some time, probably finishing the test before heading to the rail station. Although he would swear he smiled seeing Sarah earlier it just didn't register after seeing the hurt and shame in her eyes.

"What about Agent Walker?"

"What about Sarah, General?"

"Are you going to write her a note as well?" she asked somewhat timidly, not wanting to hear about the 'Lady feelings' and this afforded an easy opportunity for them to come forth.

He exhaled and hoped he wouldn't get her into trouble, "Yes, I wasn't sure how I would get it to her though".

"Doesn't she usually see you if you're not at the debriefing to let you know what's going on, especially on the unsuccessful missions?"

As Chuck tried to analyze this, he realized he had never made that connection before, but she did find her way to him whether at home or the Buy More sometimes to yell, sometimes to comfort, but the best were the times that either just needed a laugh to help them reset and then continue. God her laugh made him soar, he even contemplated finding some recording of it; just a snippet could easily take away the dreariness of any day. A good one could last him for a month. Hell the real thing before he left might satisfy him for however long his stay was.

"Bartowski!"

"Sorry General. I was just trying to go through what I'm going to write. I am not going to put my family in danger. "

"Actually I think your original idea is very workable. They know it would be something that you would do," as she expanded on his thought filling in some details to make this executable, "Helping children by connecting African schools to the internet, unlike an install you'd be setting up the system to handle the different climactic challenges. And after your couch antics, by the way please do not grow the beard during your stay here, if given another chance you would jump as a shot at redemption especially if presented as a take it or leave it option. We have established contacts already in place so correspondence and calls will appear to everybody that they are coming from whichever embassy in Africa you are nearby. However, if you are gone for a long time won't she decide to travel to see you?"

As Chuck pondered everything that the General said including the very real possibility of her last question, _'How could she know his sister that well without ever talking to her? It must be from Sarah's reports.' _However from just these exchanges he has gained a true respect for the General. Sure he would say he respected her just because it would be rude not to and since both Casey and Sarah did. Nevertheless being referred to as 'the asset' or on good days 'the Intersect' allowed him to dehumanize her as much as she had within these two years. She deserved better, but also more prudently an answer to her question. "General, Ellie does not have a passport. She's only been out of California a few times. The issue came up with the discussion of where the honeymoon was going to be and by the time she figured out Awesome was going to cliff-dive in Hawaii and nixed that location. It was too late to get her one in time which is why they went to the Virgin Isl…" Hearing the sound of fingers drumming on a table he looked down, cleared his throat and continued, "So, when she applies for a passport it could be put on a delay or even rejected by some simple mistake. Thereby giving enough time to set up a small operation or…" despite not wanting to push her but still decided to bring this option out, "maybe I could go home for a weekend".

The General sat back in her chair and ruminated; this was only solidifying her opinion that Chuck did have what it takes to be a spy; unconventional without a doubt and a definite pain in her ass. Even without the intersect; perhaps not as a field agent until he had sufficient self defense skills; but still he can analyze scenarios, come up with solid plans (well crazy when first looked at on paper, but they certainly were quite successful), and has become proficient at delivering non-truths. Unknowingly another smile crept on her face as she thought of Agent Walker's reaction that a spastic colon was on her permanent CIA medical record. "Well that does cover most of the problems, nicely thought out Agen… Chuck".

The smile that he caught and the slip convinced Chuck if he was ever going to trust her he may as well start now. "General, I will leave a note for Sarah here, but there is a chance that if she knows I'm gone she may not come back here. If I sent it to you would you make sure she gets it."

She paused just making sure she heard him correctly before responding, "Yes Chuck, I'll make sure Agent Walker gets the message in her next assignment statement after I get it, however all correspondence even to my home are examined and reads before they get to me."

Even though he knew she had to have some channels which avoided the Government eyes he had an altogether different idea in getting the note to her. "No problem, General if you can hold on for just a moment while I get this going" he turned slightly and started typing furiously upon his keyboard. Stopped then leaned back, hit a few more keys, started to turn back to the General, but paused and hit a final key with a flourish. Soon the General's printer came to life and a single piece of paper came through.

"Mr. Bartowski, the first thing that you are going to do…" she snarled as she took the paper off her printer which simply said 'Thank you'. "You have no idea how irritating you are, Mr. Bartowski. Contact me before you send it, I'm sure you don't want it finding its way into Colonel Casey's assignment packet. Chuck's audible gulp signified that her point was made, "When it comes through I will put it in an envelope marked for her eyes only. Aren't you afraid I will look at it?"

"Well General it is not as if a 49B matters where I am going to be, but…" He responded meekly.

"I understand, I will look at it only to confirm that it printed and the number of pages is correct. I'll seal it in the envelope with you watching."

"Thank you again, General."

"BUT, you will explain how you are able to do this and personally close whatever loophole you exploited to break through the firewall." She commanded.

"Yes Ma'am, I will contact you as soon as I am ready. Uhh can I ask one other question about the cover?"

Having a good idea what he was going to ask she simply responded, "Chuck after we take down the Ring remind me about this and I will check to see what is being done for the children of Africa and see if you can help with that".

Chuck couldn't help but break out the big smile and simply said, "Good night".

"Good night Chuck," there was a slight pause as he noticed some doubt on the General's face, however all too soon the look on her visage was gone and the monitor was off.

'_OK, where to start… after the escapade with Longshore he prepared notes to Morgan and Ellie, however he had not updated them in quite some time. Although he fully trusted Sarah, he did not want to burden her with a cover story and knowing her she would blame herself which was unacceptable to him. So he'll start with Morgan's, then Ellie's and finally for the first time, although Casey wouldn't qualify it as fully growing a pair as he is doing it in a letter, lay everything out there for his blonde haired, blue-eyed salvation. After Prague she was owed that at the very least.'_

After Chuck looked over Morgan's note he scrapped it as so many things had changed for him: he had Anna, he was fulfilling a career dream that did not involve the Millennium Falcon, and more importantly he had done it on his own volition. So he made sure his new letter to Morgan included: how important he was to him, the confidence that he had in him that he was going to be successful, while he may not be there for his first service the first meal he will have when he returns to Burbank will be wherever he is cooking, and finally that Morgan's belief in him is a major reason why he knows that he will get the job done this time.

Next up was Ellie's and he grabbed a glass of orange juice, loaded the coffeemaker and set it to start in an hour. After going over her letter, he only made some small changes correcting a few items to her legally married status and adding in the job and its parameters. His initial letter conveyed everything that he wanted to say to her. Within the opportunity he was able to tell her that he would be helping a lot of people and despite missing each other she would understand that and even though she would always, well maybe not always, say she was proud of him this was the time for him to truly earn that pride. It was time to let the past fade away, cut some strings while trying to reinforce the more important ones as he was going to live a life of his choosing instead of just surviving. He felt good about these two notes despite being a lie in some details, the rationales were completely honest.

In the other notes he tried to leave clues for Devon to let him know that he is alright, but it didn't feel it was getting the point across. Perhaps he was putting off the letter to Sarah, but in thinking through the messages to both Ellie and Morgan he realized how important and intertwined Devon was and also as the only civilian whom he's shared his secret with simply adding a couple lines at the end of Ellie's letter was disingenuous. Hell he'd probably understand if he didn't even do that, but since he's laying it out there, there's no reason to hold back.

Devon's letter was mostly light-hearted and was incredibly easy to write thinking of things he did that which were seemingly small, but made an impact. He hoped he understood the nickname while somewhat of a joke at first was now frankly what he thought of him. He could not be happier that he was with his sister because not only was he confident that he would always be there for her, he was the only man in the world who was worthy of her. Upon Africa he teased Devon recalling a nightmare he had about being there. He couldn't remember why he was there; he thought a safari as he recalled a camp and killing a large snake, but soon he contracted malaria and ended up recuperating on a couch watching 'ER'. Which made Devon's instinctive response to any mention of Africa 'Africa, malaria, not awesome'? A quick run-through brought a deletion of an apology for the bachelor party, that subject is far better off to rot away. With these three done, he turned to Casey, but quickly realized it wouldn't serve anybodies interest, but maybe he'd send him a bonsai, he had to bear down and do what he hadn't been able to for two years.

He heard the coffeemaker start and allowed himself a brief respite before starting and taking a bigger gulp then initially intended swallowed the liquid lava and waited for a moment until he felt his esophagus was no longer glowing, embarked upon his quest.

Reading his first attempt made his stomach gurgle, while it covered the items that he wanted to, it seemed whiny and that was not what he wanted to show her. He overcompensated in his second attempt as he was quite harsh, not only to Sarah's waffling and leading him on, but he also did not spare himself and some others from his criticisms. In reading the second one again there was a cathartic feeling as he'd been holding back these feelings for almost two years and just revealing them on paper made him feel better. However neither letter was acceptable on their own nor not sure starting over for a third time would produce something better, decided that some sort of combination of the two could work, if not he had no clue what to do.

Taking a moment and a sip of coffee he started merging the two; using the first one as his base he would add in aspects from the second editing some things, while he was completely honest, he would avoid being a douchebag. He brought up times that were good, bad, and worst both; he explained his feelings and what he was hoping she was feeling. Despite their ability to read each other exceptionally well at times, the other times he had no clue and he wrote what he thought she was trying to convey which was usually a bad thing. After scrutinizing the letter he knew it contained the two important objectives: first despite everything they've been through there is nobody else he can see himself with and their problems have only served to deepen his resolve and that even though she does not think she is capable of giving him everything he wants, all he wants is her and second, a way to contact him wherever he may be.

Wiping his hands across his face he was emotionally drained and having put all his letters in envelopes he sealed them placing the first three on the dining table. Unable to let go of Sarah's he contacted the General and watched as the printed copies came out, she quickly confirmed the number of pages but questioned if they came out right. Chuck said the first few words and witnessed her place them in a very official looking envelope. After that they went over the items Chuck was able to bring and what he could not; although there was one item initially refused she eventually relented. At that point he heard some beeps which meant another transmission was about to come through. The general turned and said that she would talk to him when he arrived at his initial destination. She told him to expect the transport between forty-five minutes to an hour, the phrase that the agents will say to him, and his response of 'sometimes things don't go the way we want them to'. That strangely lightened his mood a little as the General could not possibly understand everything, she understood enough; maybe he was something more than 'the asset', and maybe doing this was the right thing.

He always tried to be an efficient packer and concentrating on Beckman's missive: ten days to two weeks of clothes, simply casual and four or five workout 'outfits'; if he needed something else it would be provided for him. '_Not sure what else would be needed for bunker wear, maybe they have a cotillion just to break up the drudgery a little, and hopefully he could invite a blonde haired spy who loves to dance.'_ As he allowed that thought to slowly fade he sensed that the General had not given up on the lemon just yet. That thought brought a small smile to his face and looking down noticed something was not in his immediate possession, '_Sarah's letter!'_ Not wanting to look in his 'hero's satchel' what he referred to his duffle bag as; when Sarah asked about that and he told her the detail from Bryce's e-mail she hugged him and told him that is who he is and he'd better not be facetious. For missions that could require a change of clothing or some supplies she would always refer to it as that. Until he left for Prague, she took him shopping and picked out a suitcase similar to one that she had, when he went to pay for it he took a quick look at her and she had a melancholy look which was gone when he looked back again.

As he was wondering why he chose to use the duffle bag now instead of the suitcase, he shook himself to find the letter. Luckily he first chose to look at the bed and there sitting upon the left pillow was an envelope atop a folded scarlet and grey shirt. He immediately recognized it as one of his Stanford shirts and in particular the one that Sarah would commonly wear on the occasions that she stayed over.

Although mostly for cover, but a few times if a mission ran into the wee hours of the morning or was exhausting she would spend the night. She initially offered to keep an emergency night pack in his closet, but never brought it up again after the third time. It was another bizarre part of their relationship, which was similar to many couples, but also proved they were a 'different type of couple'. The first time was incredibly awkward from Lou to candles to excessively inappropriate lingerie to a sister bursting in under the influence of poisonous truth serum. The next time was a mission related one and not for the cover, despite both having trepidations about a repeat it ended up being a very restful sleep for them both. As he made the observation that perhaps it was due to them switching sides of the bed, Sarah giggled. However, they chose to remain on those sides and they found a comfort level per se which added to his confusion. It literally made him soar how beautiful she was while sleeping and on those times that he was able to catch her as she woke up he had no idea of the look that was on his face, but it was enough to make her blush and giggle. He knows mornings and Sarah Walker are at best a volatile mix, but it seemed his bed was the buffer that allowed for the mixture to go smoothly. Their unofficial game maybe helped as well; usually they would start by sleeping on their back or facing away from the other, at some point in the night they would end up facing each other. It also seemed that she shared his view in a sense as she somewhat reveled in watching him sleep and wake up as well. The 'game' was that if they had time one would feign sleep for the other and go back and forth until the alarm beckoned them. Unfortunately, potentially fortunately that is yet to be determined, after Barstow they cannot go back to that peaceful coexistence; he'd like to say resistance is futile, but if the next time he and Sarah are in a bed together and not finish what began in Barstow he may as well package off his genitalia and donate to someone who will use them.

Looking at his watch he saw that his daydreaming had cost him some time and would have to hurry to both shower and eat neither of which he wanted to forego. A quick shower and putting on a red t-shirt and some jeans he headed to the kitchen, choosing not to turn on the light as dawn was approaching he looked to see the three letters still there, and poured himself some cereal. Choosing to eat over the sink, his mind began to drift over the past twenty-four hours as his heart and mind battled once again. His mind throwing out that he wants to help people and eventually becoming a spy and while not ever being the equal of Sarah at least they can be peers. While his heart contends that he cannot leave Sarah again even if it is for the right reasons. As he hoped that she will read the letter and not tear it up in frustration the bowl slipped from his fingers and crashed onto the floor.

Coincidentally at that time the front door to his apartment opened. As he got down on his knees picking up all the pieces as he doesn't want Ellie or Awesome to end up with stitches on their feet because of him he heard a tiny noise and closed his hand opening a gash that spurted out some blood. Normally this would freak him out, but it wasn't that bad and he didn't want to leave any pieces as that could cause Devon to misinterpret things and suspect foul play. He did notice the blood on the floor mixed with the cereal milk creating this pinkish red puddle. Right then he noticed a fairly large piece on the other side of the kitchen; however he could still reach it so he stretched out next to the floor and just before he picked it up.

"Chuck!?"


	3. Sarah's view

_**A/N: We're getting closer, but there is still one more to set up and we can find out what happens. Thanks for all the positive reviews, hope I can keep it up. I'm still working on the next chapter, looking to try and finish it this weekend. There is not too much communication in this chapter, but I will do my best to keep it easy to follow and most importantly doing her character justice.**_

**Chapter 3: Sarah's Perspective**

The ride to Castle from the blown mission was thankfully quiet as she stared out the passenger window of the Crown Vic. She was not going to start any conversation and although Casey looked over twice, the second time appeared he was going to say something, but gave a small grunt. For a brief moment she considered Chuck's guide to Casey's grunts, but pushed that out of her mind. Her spy veneer was on too forcefully; however there were only two people whom she thought could tell. One was next to her, the other was probably churning through tonight's events, but he has the luxury of letting the emotions out.

Once inside the Orange Orange Casey asked if she wanted some coffee; she was able to pull off a smile and say, "Yes, thanks". Her frustration forced her to change her normal pattern of reviewing footage. She was adamant about that prior to Chuck and even converted Graham that agents needed to review, whenever available, footage not just the analysts. Casey had been a difficult convert until one mission where he yelled at Chuck for moving, it turns out he smashed a guy with a laptop who had a bead on Casey. While he could not allow himself to apologize to Chuck, he did something better when he gave his report to Beckman in front of Chuck that he had saved him. Her intent was initially focused, but it soon appeared to hit a prism and became disjointed with ideas and hypotheses all over the place.

As she threw another report form down, she approximated about a dozen; she was surprised she had missed the acrid scent of Casey's coffee. Like many things they had different opinions on their coffee, but learned to work with each other. She added an extra cream and a dollop of chocolate, usually provided by Chuck, she looked in the top left drawer and there was a bar of Godiva's Milk Chocolate Caramel. She added the extras, took a sip 'Damn him, it's perfect', and crumpled up the next report form even though there was nothing written on it. She took another sip, took a deep breath, and dispassionately relayed the events of the evening, she added at the end not yet reviewing the footage, but would do so asap.

Beckman did not seem to care about the review, timeliness was her greater concern; but with Chuck's involvement she as well as Graham wanted to know details. After one of their first missions Graham had said that 'they need to pay special attention to the Intersect and its performance' and although she bit her tongue she gave her boss her enforcer's glare. Casey sensed something could happen preempted anything by signing off, but not before she saw the eyes of her superior widen with some fear. Graham contacted her later and apologized, as much as a person of his ilk can do, but she did wonder if this exchange put her somewhat out of the loop as Casey was always the initial contact.

After going through it briefly and finding no major errors she headed to the communication room to transmit it. The door was ajar enough for her to go in and not be noticed 'Casey always closes the door', as she walked in she heard him saying 'the 2.0 appeared to be working', she was about to step fully into the room when her gut told her to listen a little more before making yourself known. She stayed behind some packing crates that were to take everything from Castle right after they left.

Another thing she found different was that Casey and the General were having an actual conversation; however the topic was one she did not want to hear about, Chuck's training. 'Maybe I can sneak upstairs and see if there's any Mango Chocolate Mint left.' As they talked about the impressive start he had a sad smile appeared on her face even though she never wanted this life for him it still amused her how everybody would underestimate Chuck as to what he is capable of, with or without the intersect, she was probably the only one who thought he could do it; but she could not handle the inevitability that they would take away the essence of what made him special turning him into another emotionless automaton the beginnings of which she witnessed firsthand on that platform in Prague. Making one of her first thoughts after that how she wished she had underestimated his ability to hold out on being transformed and that she did not get there fast enough to save him.

Regardless of her feelings, and the problem was she did not know what she was feeling, often it was being numb or not having any feeling. Anger she thought had come and went, although her slap of Chuck gave her some satisfaction that she did not feel entirely good about. She still was dealing with disappointment and confusion; had she built Chuck up so high that she completely ignored those characteristics that synched with her father, Bryce, and Casey. In essence were all men like this and eventually given the choice would choose 'James Bond'.

Instead of pining for something that does not exist, settle for something that is relatively safe and free from entanglements was one of the conclusions she was debating. Her assignments at that time were relatively benign: surveillance and a few drops. This gave her plenty of time to ruminate about what happened and the future. She assumed these missions were because they wanted her available to take Chuck out on some missions as he took off the training wheels. She had come up with the excuse why she would not do it and it was logical; Chuck was used to her defending him, he needed the confidence to do it without the safety net she provided. The problem was she did not think she could deliver the line as she determined Chuck being dead trumped his being a spy.

When she was contacted directly by Beckman instead of via a coded drop point she assumed this was the point to decide, instead she was told to get close to some low level supplier for the Ring. Thankfully she was able to lead him on slowly building up the heat so that when he impressed her with his dealings she would be his plaything. Actually Chuck helped with setting it up unwittingly, by calling her an ungodly amount of times '86', she was able to convince him she had just come off a bad break-up and was grateful that he was so understanding by not pushing her she would show him how much she appreciated that. She did have to present herself in skimpy bikini's to maintain the interest and spending most of the day lying out in the sun again gave her far too much time to think. He refused to conduct any business outside for fear of parabolic mikes so there was little to do besides think and converse and he was too busy ogling her to talk. At this point she had come up with a list which turned into a ledger looking back over the past two years on the things that either could have done differently, or the things they have done to prove they should be together. What seemed a good idea at the time changed as she found it far too easy to place things on her negative side, although Chuck's #1 was the worst: he chose the CIA over her.

Not wanting to go over the ledger again, she forced herself back to the conversation as they discuss Chuck's inability to kill a human target. 'Guess they didn't know about Chuck's inability to kill an insect,' she mused to herself trying to lighten her mood. She missed part of the discussion as it devolved into grunting on both ends. Although hearing about the psyops report and conclusion to 'help' Chuck perform this task made her queasy as she recalled how unprepared she felt after her Red Test. Which was the crux if Chuck could kill and stomach it her failure would be complete and he would be turned to the Dark Side 'Good Lord, what has he done to me?' However the thought of him being successful on his Red Test made her shudder.

They next started talking about when the outcomes of Chuck's training started going wrong. Their time frame tells her exactly when that was and their encounter had to have been the trigger which derailed his training. Her thoughts couldn't help but vacillate between satisfaction that perhaps there was some karmic retribution for what he'd done and then a pang in regards to the fact he realized it right away and suffered since then. 'Damn you Chuck for making me feel guilty after devastating me'. However as that thought spelled itself out, she knew it wasn't guilt; but something else she wasn't ready to admit to herself as she did not want Chuck to be in pain.

This reminded her of a few days ago when she had some free time and decided to perform some surveillance. The sight of Chuck did shock her; the dirty bath robe, facial hair, and a hand which had turned into a tub of cheese balls. She heard Devon ask Chuck if they really let people just go from the CIA; despite the look of fear it brought he was soon fast asleep, by himself. As she went in a part of her did want to kick his ass, but looking at the anguished look on his face it took the majority of her will power to keep from consoling him, after she shaved the beard. As the thought of shaving Chuck stuck in her mind another dark thought crept in about comparing how he is feeling now to when he was betrayed at Stanford. The stomach acid creeping up her esophagus let her know to add another item to her side of the ledger and trudged off to get ready for her 'date'.

Some levity was finally brought into this conversation as the General described an encounter between an agent and Morgan; she really hoped that it was Forrest who got the assignment, but was fairly certain she would never find out. The mood did not last as hearing Chuck's struggles quickly brought hers down. His outburst troubled her as he would actually say f-word in her company rather than 'fuck'; Ellie confirmed that he never said that in front of her either, Devon said he heard him say it once in describing the Stanford situation. She was in the verge of adding tossing her phone into the pool as another mark on her side. While she was not in the mood to except an apology; when things started going sideways she was probably the only one he thought he could turn to that would understand and calm him down. She knew that if the situations were reversed he would help her every time, but was not certain if she would; she hoped so, but did not have the confidence her thoughtfulness would overrule her anger.

As she heard about the situation that caused him to 'fail' the test when he hadn't and that his main instructor left him hanging not telling him what he had done wrong. "What!" came out reflexively as well as her hands immediately covering her mouth with her eyes open as wide as they could get. This brought her back to the age of seven, her last Christmas with both her parents. She couldn't sleep in anticipation of Santa's arrival so she tiptoed out to the stoop where she could look out at the tree. She could also see the cookies that she slaved over, ok her mom helped… a little, for Santa along with a glass of milk. Her dad entered the living room saw the plate and took a big bite from a cookie. "No!" she swore she screamed out, but as he did not look up she must not have as her hands were firmly over her mouth. It was then she noticed all the presents underneath the tree. She grew concerned that if Santa were already here he did not like her cookies. The next morning as she enthusiastically tore through the wrapping of her presents she surprised herself after looking at the plate, "Santa liked my cookies?"

"Yes, darling. He even asked if there were any more. He said Donner has a sweet tooth." Her dad casually replied.

"Daddy!"

"Yep, we gave him the extra one just as he took out this present."

She had marked this memory as the first time she could remember furrowing her brow as she was trying to match the story her dad told her with what she watched last night. Her initial hopeful explanation was that her dad was Santa; this thought soon fell apart over the next year as she became aware of his cons and even participated in some. For her that left the only choice is Santa not existing which was confirmed by her dad the next year. This turned Christmas into an overbearing and obnoxious part of the year for the next two decades until he had given her the bracelet (that was marked as a positive a while ago).

Hearing about the next test started shifting whatever anger she held in reserve towards Chuck's head instructor as he seemed to be ensuring he failed. Although at least the other people involved liked him, 'Ha ha Casey a brunette. You are a funny bastard.' She did file away that she would find out who this agent was and check her out. The next story brought out some hope that 'Her Chuck' was still there as only he would be so forgiving and help solve the problem so that it would not happen again.

This rapidly gave way to pure fury; hearing another complete lie about her sex life which undoubtedly had already started its way through the spy world. 'For priding themselves on being secretive and covert, the gossip that is passed around concerning reputations is ridiculous.' She also placed an over/under of three days that Carina will call her flaunting this. This pushed finding that brunette hussy to the back of the line as this martial arts instructor was going to pay. Hearing Chuck's response, 'Always my hero', tried to relieve the anxiety; however she knew that part of Chuck would believe this asshole. He would deny it, but then inevitably add 'it doesn't matter' or 'it was a long time ago' or 'I know the real you' all of which meant that he did not believe her, but was willing to overlook this flaw. 'Something I can add to Chuck's side; although it was still ridiculously lopsided in his favor.' The unmistakable sound of a major bone cracking along with Casey's exuberant cry of joy snapped her out of her thoughts, momentarily stilling the sea of emotions waiting to burst forth.

Mentally exhausted, she had sat down on the floor placing her head upon her knees a while ago; knowing that this was yet another crossroad to determine what she and Chuck will or will not have. Realizing this she was forcing herself to pay strict attention as the General was appearing to wrap up the story of Chuck's training as she returned to Prague and he was unable to flash so she called it off. She focused on the word reevaluation as it sent her spydar going crazy when the General uttered it and when the line about a decision being made for the best culminated with an impulsive response of, "No."

She froze once again, hoping Casey and the General did not hear that. Her fears however were confirmed as Casey soon appeared standing over her calling her name. Upon registering that she put her spy face on and started piecing together she had to leave to save Chuck. When Casey mentions her first name, she looked up and could tell she had not succeeded in making the spy mask completely there. This helped her refocus everything that had been building up since Prague; she needed to be at her best because she could not let Chuck die.

Then Casey mentions something about her doing it again; 'Again?' she processes as she attempts to get up. 'Again!' This time the rage is almost blinding, as she knows she will discuss this with Casey, but now is not the time. Her attempt to rise was hampered as she realized she had been holding onto her left leg so tightly her foot fell asleep causing her to rise to her feet to be unusually non-graceful. She looks at Casey just to see if he realized what he had just told her, but he did not show it; all she could see was concern, for Chuck, for her, for both of them she could not tell. Nodding her head in appreciation for letting her handle this she started to run off shaking her foot and quickly getting feeling back.

Her first stop was the armory as she picked up her gun, a few extra clips of ammunition, and found she also picked up a tranq pistol for Chuck. She grabbed her keys and raced up the stairs, going through the mental checklist she had compiled for this mission. Traffic should be extremely light at this hour, however if she were caught up in anything she could not fathom the amount of carnage she would unleash. A quick shake of her head allowed her to finish the list as she glided into her Porsche. Soon she peeled out of the mall parking lot.

Her phone soon rang and she found herself looking into an angry, scowling John Casey, 'Where did Chuck get this picture' he had sent it to her and since that time that was always the picture she would use for him. While this would be another positive mark to add to Chuck's side she decided to close out the ledger. He was just about the only person who could make her laugh; prior to meeting Chuck if anybody in a conversation equated laughter with any semblance of importance would most likely have found a knife stuck between two of their toes as her first response, followed by a sardonic laugh, and the backhanded statement that perhaps they were right.

The call went to voice mail, but she chose not to check it. If it was relaying an order from Beckman to stand down she was not going to do it, if she were already too late she wanted to make sure Ellie did not discover the body, and that they possibly left a clue, longshot that it might be. Whoever was responsible needed to understand just exactly who they took away from this world and would experience one of the two hundred ways she knew to send them to hell.

Of course this explains the length of the conversation between Beckman and Casey, she was stalling for time. She went through her checklist again and with that satisfied knew her main objective was clear, 'Save Chuck', her secondary one of 'Keeping Chuck safe' was more difficult as she was not sure if A) he wanted to run, but want was moot at this point; worse was B) he wanted to run, but not with her. She knows him well enough that he would never tell her if she was the reason he did not run away with her in Prague. Running through possible scenarios in her head did not clear up anything, so she decided to try and follow her advice of 'One mission at a time'. She strongly considered adding 'gives crappy advice' on her side of the ledger, but as she pulled up to the complex she decided to hold off on that until the outcome was determined.

There was no activity on the outside perimeter or in the courtyard. As she fought back the growing fear that she was too late; she knew she had to follow her procedure or else more people could be in danger. She checked the Morgan door and was surprised that it was locked, but seeing no footprints around the window and not wanting to put herself in an indefensible position in trying to enter through it she moved to the front door. Testing the front door she found it unlocked, not hearing any unusual noises she braced herself and as she entered she could hear the sound of ceramic breaking on a tile floor. 'Kitchen or bathroom' seeing nobody or anything unusual in the living room, she quickly made her way into the kitchen. She saw a body on the floor with fluid underneath it, "Chuck?!"

She went into superspy mode and quickly yet efficiently checked the two bedrooms and bathroom to find the perpetrator. She was just a step away from the kitchen entrance when she heard him call out, "Sarah?"


	4. Confrontation

_**A/N: Not much to say except I came close to splitting this up because I was thinking this was going to be too long. Let me know what you think. Something I have neglected to mention: I do not own Chuck or anything related to it.**_

**Chapter 4: The Confrontation**

Sarah hearing Chuck raced back into the kitchen saying, "Chuck, I'll take care of this, but don't worry you are going to be…" Suddenly noticing Chuck no longer on the floor, but standing in the corner of the kitchen with a crooked grin.

"Sarah, I was just eating some breakfast when I dropped the bowl. I was picking up the pieces when I cut my hand," lifting up his hand to show her, "I then saw a rather jagged piece under the cupboard, I stretched to reach for it and I heard you call my name. I got up and turned around, but you were already gone. I looked down and saw the blood-cereal milk mélange and knew you were checking the apartment. Not wanting to sneak up on you I decided to wait here and call your name." he said apologetically.

Sarah was transfixed at the edge of the kitchen, living through her worst nightmare and now facing her second worst; fully convinced any movement whatsoever could release any or all the emotions her training had successfully held back to this point. Chuck couldn't help but notice her statue-like as well as always statuesque appearance; unwilling to allow it to be quiet for too long added with a shrug," I'm sorry I would have said something immediately, but I think I'm going through some sort of cheese ball withdrawal."

A smile crept on her face followed closely by a giggle and some tears, '_Knew I couldn't move'._ As he saw the emotion he stepped over the tiny puddle and was about to comfort her when she snapped back and said, "Chuck, your hand."

"Oh… you're right I don't want to get anything on your outfit; although I would think the CIA would have you choose the most blood resistant fabrics."

"Chuck." She paused slightly taking a breath, "Thank you but my blouse is not my concern; we have to fix you up and get you away from here immediately."

"Uh… ok, but… ok; Ellie keeps some stuff in the bathroom."

"I know." She smiled and they went into the bathroom. Upon inspection the cut was not as severe as either thought only needing the basics of cleaning the wound and covering it. As Sarah was finishing up, Chuck was feeling conflicted: he was overjoyed in seeing her again and not angry, although there was still pain; but also devastated in that he would be leaving with her there. He needed some time.

"Sarah?"

"Yes Chuck." She said not looking up as she was intent on finishing his bandaging.

"Thanks for the hand; Ellie would be especially pleased with the extra layer of wrapping." He said with an earnest expression. She responded with a mock pout turning into a small smile.

"Also, if I could have a moment to … ah, use the facility."

Her eyes widened a little, "Oh, of course '_I need to be on watch anyways' _just don't stay in here too long and make me come in to get you." She said flirtily, _'Where the hell did that come from'_ shaking her head slightly as she left into the hallway.

She performed a more thorough search of the apartment; assessing that the few weak spots that were detected in their initial search were remedied, except for the Morgan door. With still no sign of anybody approaching or hiding and feeling confident the location was secure for the moment went into the kitchen and while keeping her gun at the ready paper toweled the liquid on the floor and seeing no other bowl fragments decided another job was accomplished. She went out to the living room and leaned on the table. Remembering that Casey left a message she quickly thumbed through to retrieve it, _'Hopefully he talked her out of it', _listening to the message did not fully relieve her anxiety as she looked to the floor, '_At least he isn't going to be killed'_ she repeated to herself in her mind, calming herself. As she slowly raised her head she saw three envelopes on the table all with Chuck's handwriting on them; one for Ellie, Morgan, and Devon (?).

Staring back into the mirror Chuck could still not resolve the conflict within himself as to what to do so his mind wandered to try and look at it from another view, but as he did her talk of needing to get him out crept in. '_Why?_' This was answered with a V8 palm to the forehead, as he added another reason why he needed to leave. When giving his report he had neglected to tell the General that he had lost his Buy More pocket protector. Granted he hadn't realized it was gone until he took off his clothes to take a shower and while not an engraved invitation to the apartment as he was not listed in the phone book and there were two other Bartowski's in Burbank. He could be tracked down from anybody at the Buy More. He was going to tell her after he ate as Ellie and Devon could be in serious trouble and needed protection. In some ways he still was thinking he would have preferred having Casey here to secure the 'handoff' when another thought popped into his head, _'They may not know about the bunker, that's why she said someplace safe. After reviewing the footage they probably saw the assassin pick up the pocket protector and rushed over here.'_ They would first secure him and then contact the General, so they are unaware of the plan. If his ride came before he told her instead of picking up a computer nerd, they'd be picking up various appendages removed by a blonde buzz saw. He briskly ran his non-bandaged hand under the cold water splashing his face as a kind of salve to protect him from the fire he was going to experience from telling her what was going on. He strode out into the hallway cautiously and saw Sarah looking down facing the window overlooking the courtyard, then jumped as he heard a thud against the front door.

"Newspaper" was all she said without looking up or moving. As he moved towards her he noticed the living room was starting to fill with the morning light, but froze when he saw the look. He'd only seen that look once before when he was pressing her to give him something 'real' before whispering her middle name. With the almost impossibility of him hearing her say "Lisa" he was fairly certain he imagined it and did not want to bring it up again. At the time he could not comprehend how a middle name could cause such conflict and anguish, especially to the bravest and most special person in the world. Seeing it again was nearing Chuck to his breaking point as he struggled to see what was causing this. He quickly found out as the only thing moving were her hands as she was shuffling three letters in her hands. The only comparison that came to him which made sense was she seemed like a child on Christmas looking through the presents over and over again, hoping that the next time through it will be corrected and her present there. "Shhh, Sarah." As he took the letters from her hand, choking back a tear, and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

After seeing the letters she heard a noise outside, checking the time and confirming with a peek through the window it was the newspaper girl; although she was a brunette and cute, being thirteen and Chuck never being up at this hour allowed her to keep her route. '_My God, how far gone am I?'_ as she sadly smiled facing the window and looked down again at the letters in her hands. '_Chuck's family'_ she mused to herself while maintaining the smile as she went through it the first time. The second time through the smile diminished as it became a repeating cycle as she could not stop flipping through them. Trying her best not to let the question of why wasn't there a letter for her seep out because the answer would be too much for her to take. So she maintained a hypervigilant surveillance of her surroundings, but still she flipped through the letters. She heard the water shut off, the door open, a newspaper land at Casey's door, and Chuck making his way to the living room slowly. She realized 'their' newspaper would be next, but hopefully she would land it in the mat. 'Thud'. After explaining the sound she could hear him moving closer and then feel him look upon her. Shame started creeping up on her as she was looking at what he was leaving for those he cared about and she was once again intruding on that; the normal life that he craved, the personal life which was always impacted negatively by her and the 'spy life'. She felt him reach for the letters and place the other hand on her shoulder. His lower arm looped around her waist and the other hand migrated from her shoulder to the center of her upper back. Feeling and having missed this heat she burrowed into him as much as she could with her hands held under her chin. Still maintaining her duties she heard the girl finish her deliveries and headed off on her bicycle; soon after she was completely lost in the moment. Minutes, hours, days, a lifetime all went through her mind as the concept of time faded in and out and from the smile on her face she could not care less. A brief instance that snapped her from this pure contentedness was the thought she had purred. The smile was replaced with a look of panic, not hearing any laughter or any movement on his part she soon relaxed again. Until he slightly shifted away; her ninja reflexes took complete control her hands swiftly interlocking Chuck in a vice-like grip.

"Sarah it is… getting... hard to…" she relaxed her arms to allow him to breathe and not much more.

"Sarah, there's something I have to tell you and show you and time is a factor," he said apologetically as he was satisfied to be in this position with her forever.

She relented and gave him room enough to move, however she maintained control by turning their trip from the window to the table to his bedroom into a dance. Making their way to the table she turned them so he could drop off the letters without releasing her. This brought a relaxed sigh and quick laugh from Chuck. Initially Chuck's laughter warmed her unlike anything she could recall, especially when that was the goal. However there were certain times when she performed a nerd faux pas or didn't know something that was obvious to everybody else it brought back the Jenny Burton days; feeling self-conscious and incredibly insecure. After an incident in Castle, that somehow Casey understood and joked about it left her perplexed and alone. As she headed back to the Orange Orange and Casey to the armory, Chuck took her hand firmly and explained the reference as they walked up the stairs and into the fro-gurt store. He let go as she started to clean, but he brought a chair over to the counter and leaned his head upon his elbows, silently stating he was not leaving until he got the full story. She remembered cringing until she finally told him and was expecting another laugh and a 'That's silly' response. Instead she saw an intense focus that he had fully concentrated on every word she had said and wasn't going to say anything until she was done. He cautiously smiled and said that he was never laughing at her and was angry at himself for not noticing this earlier. For the most part he was laughing at himself thinking why would anybody else know this, and also that his natural nervousness whenever a beautiful woman talks to him and becoming giddy whenever a particular one talks to him, laughter can sometimes for no apparent reason occur. He had gotten himself a gummy bear planted in the middle of his forehead from ten feet for the first part of his last reason and a kiss for the second part followed by them leaning and connecting foreheads, which lasted longer than usual as they made a wager based upon whose forehead the aforementioned gummy bear would stick to. She won and Chuck did better than she thought with the week of working out with her.

This made her think she needed to add another item to his side of the ledger, before remembering she stopped it. The implication of this memory struck her heavily as she knew that this was going to be 'IT'. This was the time to find out whether her walls would prevail or Chuck. She found herself standing just outside Chuck's bedroom and Chuck inside as the doorway was the last barrier before she was confronted with what would change everything. She released him and his eyes saddened for a moment before he turned sat on his bed and reached over to grab something on her side. _'Her side'_ that both thrilled and terrified her at the same time, the thrilled part won over her countenance and his grin came back and patted the bed next to him. '_First there was stay in Barstow, now sit, I can only imagine fetch will come up soon.'_ She slowly shook her head once and entered his bedroom and sat down. As she did they both spoke, "Chuck/Sarah" feeling the déjà vu and a giggle from both Chuck started again.

"Sarah, despite the last time this situation happened I went first and it was not my most shining moment with you; however I think I need to go first again. I absolutely need to know what you are going to say, but I think for this we need to add one caveat: at least for this one time we need to be completely honest with each other regardless of the other's feelings." He added with some trepidation, but knowing he needed this and she deserved nothing less.

Almost shockingly to both, an immediate, "Yes." came from Sarah's lips.

_**A/N: I think I've read too many Hunter Thompson books, which an in-story edit can be ok. This is where the break would have happened; it's about 11 pm on 7/12 and since the rest is not finished. I'll also ask if I should have broken this up. A brief respite couldn't hurt at this time.**_

"Think I spoke too soon with that quick of an agreement, because of course I come up with something else. While I enjoy touching you and think about it more than I care to admit…"

"Chuck" she said to get him back on track while blushing.

"Sorry, but I think it might be best if we were to refrain from touching one another, as it would distract us and I think what we both need to say is important… and essential."

Sarah had a quick look of consternation as she was trying to formulate her response when it simply occurred to her she agreed to his first caveat. "Chuck, there will be times when I would like to hold your hand. I think it may make some things easier." She said earnestly.

He grasped her hand and giving a gentle squeeze bringing a smile to her face knowing her terms were accepted. "There is a lot, but I think we need to cover the business at hand first." Clearing his throat and gyrating his head, "Sarah, I'm going to a bunker." As he said it she felt a bundle placed upon her lap.

"I know." She said softly as she became overcome with relief as she saw a letter for her and a shirt?

"How?" he said without a hint of surprise.

Unfurling the shirt she realized why Chuck was going to give it to her, but would talk about it later. "Well we were afraid Beckman had planned something else _'Remember complete honesty'_ we thought she was going to eliminate you." Seeing Chuck was not going to jump in at this time she sighed and continued, "Casey and Beckman were having a conversation after I assume he had given his report." This brought an amused look on his face. "I know, but then he wanted to know the full story of what happened during your training." A beaten look soon was on his face. She slightly cringed, "Sorry. Even though I never wanted you to be a spy, I hope you know that I would never want you to feel… I'm straying off topic, but there were signs she gave off during their talk," his eyebrows raised, "Yes and grunts too." Small smiles were on both of their faces. "She never used your name, talked about you in past tense terms, and even used the 'a decision was made for the best' phrase. Casey found me listening in and agreed for me to come and get you." _'Not quite complete honesty,'_ she chided herself as she wasn't fully ready to avail her emotions because Chuck seemed too business-like.

Chuck could tell that Sarah was holding back something, but also knew that she was trying and would allow her some leeway for this; besides he was somewhat preoccupied with the Casey/Beckman talk. When it came to him, "Wow, I don't think I ever knew how devious she can be." He said with a chuckle.

"What?"

"Beckman was testing Casey and possibly… is there any way she would have known that you were listening?"

"No… well during her story I may have had some reactions, but…"

"Ok, so she was testing Casey." He said a little too quickly.

"Chuck… honesty" by saying that Sarah knew at that point she had to live up to it as well.

"You're right, regardless if she was testing just Casey or both of you; I think she also wanted to show me that we could still function as a team."

"Why would she care about that if she was sending you to a bunker?"

"It was my idea, I just didn't think…"

"WHAT! No, you didn't think!" as she hopped off the bed, hurling the envelope with one hand and attempting to throw the shirt in the other, but it still remained in her hand. Chuck slowly turned his head remembering some television show a long time ago where the host talked about avoiding sudden movements when dealing with a ferocious animal ready to pounce. He was somewhat surprised, but not disappointed that the picture he had of himself and Sarah on his desk was still intact and that the envelope had not separated his picture self at the neck.

"Chuck, I'm not a ferocious animal." She said folding her arms in front of her.

'_Great it turns out the only television show she ever watched happens to be that one.'"_Sometimes I am not so sure." Truly fearing honesty as her eyebrows were arching at an angle he never recalled seeing before. Panicking he started throwing out the first thought that popped into his mind, "Sarah, please first answer this, when you reviewed the footage did you see if the assassin picked up my pocket protector?"

This caught her completely off guard, "What…no… I don't know… I haven't reviewed the footage." She said somewhat dejectedly.

"You always review it, you told me that it … oh," as he realized the anger hadn't fully dissipated.

Instead of dwelling she focused on this new development, "Do you remember when you lost it? Are you sure you had it on when you entered the restaurant? I thought you turned it in when you quit?"

"No, I don't know when it happened; I only noticed it when I took my clothes off this morning. Yes that was the last thing that I did when I entered the establishment, and I have eight more of them."

Still standing Sarah paced to the other side of Chuck as more light was coming through the blinds she noticed something on his cheek, but decided that could wait as Chuck continued, "It could have happened anytime I don't remember it there when I put on the mariachi uniform. I figured with me being picked up hours before the Buy More opened I would be safe and I was going to tell Beckman asap or if the team picked me up before I finished breakfast to watch over Ellie and Devon."

She paused as if to sit down next to Chuck, but continued out the door, passing that invisible barrier, bringing her back into the real world and called Casey. "Casey yes I'm there… no, nobody is injured; actually Chuck cut his hand on a broken cereal bowl. CASEY STOP!" After a slight pause she added dejectedly, "Yes he just told me. No. No, there is something more important than that. Was Chuck's pocket protector recovered at the scene? It wasn't on the list of items. Ok you'll call the agent at the scene to confirm if it is still there or thrown in the garbage. What do you mean it probably came off after I decked him? You said I didn't hit him that hard! Oh…Should we come in? No you're right if he is there we put Chuck in the line of fire. There is some concern as the agents picking up Chuck should have arrived by now. She did, huh maybe Chuck was right. Your lady feelings. Yes. That's a good idea. Ok thanks partner." She hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and walking back into the room held a caring smile on her face, as she sat down back on the bed and noticed she still had the shirt in her hand.

"I can extrapolate probably most of it, but I think it best if I allow you to say it."

"Chuck, we don't know where it is. Casey did not notice it on the footage, but he is contacting the agent who was in charge of the scene to see if it is there or thrown in the garbage and also having some other agents review the footage to see if it was picked up. We are going to stay here and you might have been right as Beckman put your pickup crew on hold when it was determined I was going to be here. For now they are going to secure the perimeter. I think that's it."

"Good I was beginning to worry a little bit; perhaps they were delayed by a psycho on the 415."

'_Where does he come up with these things?'_ For now things were ok and it was time to get back to some things she needed to know. "Why?"

"Well, with traffic in the LA area, if you get stuck I could see somebody losing it at some point, but that's not what you're referring to." He sighed as his light-heartedness was not returned, "After my failure in Prague I had nothing left, until Devon brought it up I hadn't realized that I was unconsciously expecting somebody to be sent. After he said my fears out loud I knew I had to let Beckman know that I had not given up and wanted to help however I could. Stanford was bad in a different way because it was taken from me for no good reason leaving me asking a lot of why's and what if scenarios that gave a glimpse of hope if I was given another chance. With Prague I had none of those outs it simply fell on me that I failed. Nobody cheated me; nobody else was to blame for what happened. It was me not being good enough, disappointing all that had faith and worked hard with me, even if they didn't know what I was doing. Most of all you, you were the person who was convinced enough that I was that guy and would probably debate who you hated more when you thought I chose the spy life over you, when I chose it to be with you."

He shakily put his hand out to her, and she was thankful that Chuck had set the second rule up as well as she squeezed his hand because there was so much that they both still had to go through, but he understood. She was utilizing everything she could think of to quell the onslaught which was going to happen at some point she just had to delay it. A question that had been burning since the 2.0 download and as she didn't want to add this to the emotional weight he was carrying; she blurted out, "Damn your father."

"Wow that was not the answer I was expecting. Did he come around when I was gone?"

"No, but his timing is awful… When he revealed his download telling us about the man who took Bryce, I was about to tell you that I chose you. I was not going with Bryce and he knew it, in fact he may have known before I did. I'm not sure I want to know, but if I had the moment to tell you would you have downloaded the 2.0?" She asked as the answer would change her world.

"Actually this might surprise you, but it would have made it easier to decide to download it." Sarah's look showed some relief, but also surprise and a little doubt, "Sarah, I knew I couldn't let it fall into their hands and when Bryce gave me the device to destroy it I did have a number of things going through my mind. My dad's greatest work would be wasted, but more importantly when I destroyed it there was no reason to let any of us live. I will always choose to protect you and by me downloading it allowed an opportunity to use the Intersect as a chip for your life and Casey's. I had faith neither of you would rest until I was recovered. The difference this time it was my choice and not as a fluke; at least by having knowledge of what I would be getting into, but knowing that I would be helping people and even though there may be some disagreement I thought I had performed adequately the first time around. One of the major doubts I had was us going back into the murky cover and being unsure of how you felt or could feel. If you were mad at yourself you don't need to be because I still would have done it." He carefully reached over to brush the lone tear that got away from Sarah's control and silently rebuked himself for breaking the second rule.

Knowing that bringing up the rail station now could cause a torrent of emotion, she tried to do a mental recap of everything that they needed to be on the same page about. She also felt that this next topic should be something that she needed to contribute to so she solemnly said, "Since you somewhat brought him up, I think we finally need to talk about Bryce."

Chuck did a mild cringe at this, but seemed a little relieved that the Prague station which seemed to be the next logical place was passed over for now. The thought that Sarah chose this made him more confident because she was not content to have him solely do the talking. Checking that this might be the reason and wanting to avoid his inadequacy issues he quickly asked, "Why did you stay instead of going with Bryce?"

"Maybe this wasn't the best topic," she said with a smile, "I'm not sure which time you're talking about though for the most part the main reason was the same; you." He tried not to flash the top grade A smile, he wasn't successful which made her close her eyes as she said something she needed to, "Chuck, despite the amazing adventures and times Bryce and I had together, "she opened her eyes and saw the dejection, "Chuck" as she grabbed both of his hands '_This does make it easier'_, "You need to really hear this, so that you truly understand: Bryce for all the things he was does not compare to you. We worked well as a team, but looking back on it Bryce and I were a cover couple more than you and I ever was." She looked at him and he had that same focused look, he was listening and maybe this time he would believe it, "However, before we get into that I need you to confirm something for me".

Chuck shook his head emphatically yes a little unsure if she needed to hear his voice or if she just needed a slight pause. Apparently it was enough as she continued on going through some of those adventures. What he would consider the exciting stuff she glossed over instead concentrating on the times when they were alone which caused some palpitations until he realized when they talked it was about the current mission, while it became apparent they respected each other as operatives, it was difficult to tell if they liked each other. He had known more about Bryce's past in a week than she did from their partnership. Again he was torn about joining in verbally, at this point she thought she had made the first part known. She then started on the times that he did share things with her, normally it was after a mission and he was inebriated. In fact the first time was when he discovered a beer that he thought was only sold in the Stanford area and was shocked it was in Paraguay. She had two when he finished ten and they maintained that ratio as the one case they had was consumed that night, later he told a story about a guy from Stanford. The next morning he reluctantly asked how much he talked as he only remembered starting the story. She told him what he had said and seemed relieved, but sad; and while it did not happen after every mission it did start to happen more frequently. When she got to their last mission together and the subsequent story she asked Chuck, "The stories were all about you weren't they?"

Chuck was absorbing everything she said and was conflicted. Despite the video and Bryce's subsequent talks with him a part of him wanted him as the mastermind of his devastation. The part he couldn't deny was happy that he was not alone in cherishing those moments and now he felt relieved to do so again. He also wanted to share a number of them with Sarah as Bryce had changed a few important details about a few of them. He managed to croak out a "Yes" as he looked at Sarah and she had a concerned look that she had overdone it. "Sarah, don't worry those were some of my favorite times at Stanford and in the aftermath I could not look at them the same way until now. So thank you." Her lips started to gurgle after that, before that started he needed to check on some things. "While you were together, the only times that either of you talked about your pasts was only by Bryce and they were all about me?" he questioned.

"Yes, we talked about our training, but nothing in the real world. That's why we were a cover; all we dealt with was the present, not the future, nor the past. For many in the spy world that is enough."

"I am going to contain my jealousy, but… in this room," he stopped.

Knowing what he was unable to get out she answered, "There were two reasons: one as an agent, the other as an experiment. After he left the facility and came to your and Ellie's home and you told me. When I went in he smirked at me and said he couldn't believe I was compromised and that he was going to tell Graham. So I did what I had to; in order to convince him I wasn't. Chuck. I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything else." Seeing he was still looking down she continued, "The kiss had polarizing effects for us, it convinced him that I was in love with him, but for me and this was the experiment it convinced me whatever Bryce and I had was fun, but it was in the past. I wanted something more and let me know for certain that I was compromised. I do regret having done it here, but not in doing it." She was a little scared to look up, but a hand squeeze brought her eyes up and allowed her some relief. "The second time he came back there was some tension between you, because of me."

"Well I guess I set the expectations at high enlisting the Montgomery, only to find HIM there. Wow, I can't believe I still feel that way or that I'm saying this out loud." Looking over he could see she was searching for what to do to comfort him, "Sarah, its ok granted eating pizza with you and Morgan wasn't nearly what I thought would happen that night, but it meant a lot that you did it. Unfortunately with the inevitable end of our evening my mind wandered to a dark place."

"Chuck, he slept on a cot." Seeing a puzzled look on his face, she replied coyly, "Agent Walker does not fail missions and when a strange man appears who is not her boyfriend and is staying in her room, that man becomes her wayward brother and a brother sleeps on a cot she orders so that everybody knows it." A smile came back to his face.

"That's why you had me come over before the op to maintain the cover. Don't cringe about 'cover', you know what I," he realized what the cringe was for, "Sarah, I'm so sorry I loved that outfit and you were so unbelievably gorgeous and he was pushing my buttons about me falling for you, and then after the train station I cannot understand why I trusted him, I guess I thought he knew you better than me and I'd never want to see you hurt."

"Chuck, so you don't have a problem with salmon? What about the train station… I didn't take the shot." She replied softly.

"No, but after the train station Bryce used myself against me," Sarah's puzzled look forced greater detail, "He told me you couldn't take the shot because you had feelings for me, and the next time you delayed could get either of us killed. He utilized the stupid, but true line of me doing the right thing before I talked to you at the fountain. But you need to talk to Ellie if you still feel bad for not taking the shot. I only wished I talked to her before you."

"So you broke up with me because of Bryce," she said with a hint of anger at the deceased, "Ellie's not here, so why don't you tell me."

"You suffered a concussion from the car-bomb, and although they affect people differently a common symptom is a lack of focus so when you say you didn't have the shot I trust that you didn't. If I had talked to her it would have countered what he said and that discussion would never have happened."

"That actually makes sense."

"Was your last mission the last time you saw one another before he showed up in the bomb that wasn't?" he said without a hint of accusation.

"No… we spent a long weekend in Cabo a few months before I came to Burbank," she said a little unsure of what he was getting at.

"Sarah, I know you guys had a past. While finding it extremely difficult not to think what you were wearing there. I'm just trying to piece together some of the other things he said and why."

"Such as?"

"Ok, do you know that he claimed to set things up that you would be sent here to protect me? I just cannot believe he could do that."

"No, Graham would have been the only one to do so and I don't think he would handle it that way, besides I had only just gotten back from," an ashen look fell over her face, "Chuck I know it's against our rules, but I have to hold this back there are lives at stake and I made a promise to them. Please… I'm sorry." She stated while looking downward.

"Sarah, I don't want to place anybody in peril, especially somebody you made a promise to; I know my curious nature frustrates you, but please know this: I will help you any way that I can and if there's anything that I can do to help these people I hope that you will let me." As he said this he kissed her forehead, causing her to look up with her eyes opened wide. "There, we each have used up our one free pass. Technically, I would not hold what you said against our rules. This has nothing to do with us or you being here?" She shook her head no. "Ok then".

Feeling a great sense of relief, because even though Chuck was one of the few people she ever thought she could tell this to the risk was far too great; despite a twinge of sadness, there was now a tiny speck of hope of seeing her mother again when before there was none. "Chuck, I think it's time to attack a bigger issue now".

"What issue?"

"Your insecurity from men like Bryce."

"Couldn't we have started with it, instead of this smaller stuff?"

"No, you've never believed it before and I realized you would always look to find the exception to what I would say allowing the small stuff to cascade into larger things. So, I tried to set this up explaining the exceptions so now with the larger explanation you…"

He finished, "Will understand even through the denseness that my skull can show at certain times." _'She really understands me'._

She was almost ecstatic, she could understand jealousy, but she was so tired of the mantra that he wasn't worthy of her when he simply was the only person who was. "I said earlier Bryce did not compare to you and he doesn't." Sarah then proceeded to go on in detail about how and why he compared more favorably than Bryce/Cole/or any other Bond machination he could come up with. The emotional qualities he seemed to accept easily, at first too easily; but it slowly started to sink in when she saw a subtle shift in his expression. '_He is getting it, finally.'_ Just as she knew she was coming to the more difficult part for him to accept, the physical aspects. As she was about to begin her built up walls knew this was the last chance they had for their existence- if she were to continue she would lose control, she would just be Jenny Burton with a makeover. This thought did momentarily faze her and started an inner conflict –he just devastated you and now you are just giving him the ammunition to finish the job the next time. This conflict was hampering the uneasy task of trying to convince Chuck and he was not buying what she was saying.

Sarah paused to take a deep breath and strategize, the walls sensing the tide in their favor went in to finish this and made two mistakes: the first '_Nobody liked Jenny Burton.' 'I think Chuck might have.' _She recalled after the mission at the reunion, her unanticipated queen duties forced her to stay longer than she would have. Near the end of the evening, Chuck went to get a drink, of course asking her if she wanted one and when she declined he disappeared for a few minutes. Excusing herself from her 'friends', she soon found him staring at her picture with a smile, but also a look of longing. "Chuck to make my point we're going to have to break the second rule. Since you have already done so and stated earlier that technically I haven't, I am still owed an exemption so I need you to pick me up."

Chuck stood up and blinked a few times, not flashing just processing, "Sarah, you hate to be picked up." He said matter of factly. "The one time I did pick you up on a mission to get you out, when you woke up and snarled if anybody carried you, Casey and I lied and said we dragged you."

She couldn't hide the smile, but she did want to kick herself a little. She was certain Casey had carried her, but thinking back on it he had to provide the cover to get them out so that left Chuck to carry her. "It's ok Chuck."

She stood up and took a step towards him; he shrugged and very smoothly lifted her. The immediate spark she felt made her lose focus for a second and instead of stating what she initially planned she asked, "At my high school reunion what were you thinking about when you were staring at my picture?"

"Sarah, I don't think I was staring that would be rude, even though I knew it was you instantaneously. I was trying to pick out the things that made me certain. My 'It's not bad' comment couldn't have helped."

"Chuck, no the second time, at the end of the evening."

"Oh… after realizing that maybe your trepidations weren't totally related to me finding out about your past and watching the interactions of your classmates both before and then after they found out who you were helped paint a picture of what it was probably like for you. With the knowledge from the night I wanted to take a fresh look at Jenny, I saw the hope in your eyes despite the obvious loneliness you must have felt. I just wished I was there to hang out with you maybe get you hooked on video games."

"Chuck"

"You're right I would have had to overcome my intimidation because you were cute."

"Chuck don't…"

"Complete honesty. You were… are cute. Maybe I got a little sad that you didn't have anybody like I had Morgan and as I pictured it I just wanted to be there more and more." As a tear trickled down his face, "If I had, I know our lives would be so different. I know that's silly, but…" he suddenly stopped and looked away.

Her walls at this point were calculating the contortion that it would take to go from her current position to straddling him. Her hand turned his face to hers, the cool logic portion of her brain was not too far behind the 'walls' it pointed out this worked out far better than her original thought. He forced himself to look, embarrassed a little, but then the look of gratefulness and love(?!) in her eyes made him a little dizzy and he shifted slightly as there was no way he would drop her.

"Chuck, how long have you been holding me?"

"I don't know; a couple of minutes."

"Are you tired?"

"A little, but I have been up for almost twenty four hours."

"Ok Chuck, you can put me down."

The thought of her not in his arms was too difficult to overcome, "I can handle it a little longer."

'_But I can't'_ as her thoughts were drifting all over the place; the foremost one picking out the erogenous areas along the side of Chuck's face and neck that she was going to attack first. '_Damn walls aren't going to be reinforced with adamantium,'_ was able to give her momentary clarity. "No Chuck," she said huskily, "You've proved the point I wanted."

He set her down on the floor and they immediately sat on the bed as far apart as they could; both knowing that they were moments away from being together. This time without the usual accompanying frustration that nobody else or duty had stopped them. They began to slowly drift together wordlessly until they were right next to each other. Just as Chuck was about to open his mouth, Sarah's phone rang.

"We are so fucking cursed!" she said with contempt.

"Literally… this is such a Schwartzfedak."

As she thought about the first portion she agreed and began to laugh, "I agree with your first sentiment, but is the second something from that Dune book/movie thing?"

"Thank you. I do love to hear and watch you laugh. No, while I do appreciate and think that it was an excellent guess." He said proudly of her nerd recall neither noticing the ringing phone, "They are a writer/producer team that specializes in this type of teasing."

"Really?" she said scrunching her face.

"They've been known to go to great lengths to keep their love interests apart."

"Have I watched anything they've done?"

"I can't be positive, I know that we haven't. I've avoided them as it seems a little too close." He trailed off and they both gave a slight shudder.

With the sexual tension back on simmer Sarah looked at her phone once again. "Call from Casey, but no message." She held the phone and looked at Chuck; she was going to call Casey back, unless Chuck said no.

"Let's find out what the big guy knows." He said as he grabbed her pillow and screamed into it.

Sarah brought the laughter into a giggle as she was dialing the phone, unable to stop until after Casey answered it. She cleared her throat," Casey, what's up? You didn't leave a message so of course I would call you back. I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing that you call him my boy-toy. Yes we're in the same room. No. No. No we are talking! Fine you are a Schwartzfedak. Whoa, no that's ok I'd never heard you apologize before. There is no CIA chemical called Brain Bleach, you can try one of the new twilight darts. Maybe you can say why you called in the first place. You did! Oh… How? Wait he was there! What did he see? Why was he there? Really? NO! Keep him away! Until I say so. Because I have excellent detail recall. I don't know. Ok, good night or morning."

Sarah took a deep breath as she tried to figure out the order in which to tell Chuck what had happened. She chose chronologically. "There is mostly good news, most importantly we have the assassin in custody, and he did have your ID." Swallowing and grasping both his hands knowing he would take this hard, "Emmett is dead. The assassin confronted him behind the Buy More, they talked, the assassin turned and was about to leave when Emmett said something, he turned and fired. Chuck? It's not your fault." She said pleadingly.

Chuck sat there stunned and not knowing how to feel, he was on the verge of doing harm to Emmett a short time ago. He wasn't going to start quantifying anyone's existence now, a life was a life; but these past two years have shown him that the choices that you make can have consequences you cannot imagine at the time. While Emmett was a manipulative, back-stabbing douchebag he did not deserve to die.He looked down and sighed, but then remembered where he was and who he was with. Right now he could pull away from Sarah, contact Beckman, and go into the hole she is carefully preparing for him moping about the damage he has done. Before he did that he looked into her eyes maybe one last time, when he did he realized she knew he was in pain and why; more importantly she did not judge this as a weakness, she had just talked about this a few minutes ago and while he would say she convinced him, '_You never know about abstracts until they are put in practice.'_ What little doubt remained was taken away by her look. "Sarah, we both know that's not entirely true. There are a lot of things we're dealing with right now and I think we should get back to them, but can we talk about this later?"

"Of course Chuck." She said with a hopeful smile, "Ok, then when the assassin confronted Emmett, Casey and a crew left Castle right away to apprehend him. While one crew left from the Orange Orange, Casey took another through the Buy More home theater room. Entering it they came across a sleeping Morgan."

"What? Why was he at the Buy More?"

"They don't know how long he'd been sleeping there. Casey tranqued him before he woke up, so we do have some time for a plan."

As a truly uncomfortable thought settled in his mind he couldn't help but laugh. Sarah had a look of strong concern that Chuck had lost it, but between laughs he was able to croak out, "Casey didn't find him 'el buffo' did he?"

She giggled in relief that there was a reason for Chuck to laugh as she never figured Morgan as an opera singer, suppressing her mostly dormant laughter thoughts hoped this wasn't a nerd reference so she worked at it backwards thinking how would Morgan be found by Casey to cause this reaction. Buffo, buff-o, buff… Oh my god Morgan sleeps in the nude; suddenly agreeing with Casey that the CIA needs to come up with brain bleach she steadfastly focused on Casey's reaction and soon found both of them sitting on the floor leaning against the bed. "He doesn't really, does he? Wait, I don't want to know."

"Ok, well Casey can just bring him…"

"Chuck, what did I just say?"

"Well maybe Casey can dress him." This brought back the hysterics knowing how disgusted the Colonel would be just by bringing up the possibility.

"Chuck, no… I think that would just distract us." She said hoping the flush from the laughter was covering up the blush she felt creeping on her cheeks.

"You're right, well we can't leave him at the Buy More; he'd probably be arrested or possibly worse if Jeff is opening up the store."

"I think I have a plan." She pulled out her phone and speed-dialed her partner, "Casey. No. It hasn't been… NO! Casey, fine Morgan was nude when you tranqued him wasn't he? Here's the plan: you bring him to your place. Well do you know how long he'll be out? Say you found him sleepwalking, or drunk. I'm pretty sure your liquor cabinet is still in Castle. Everybody does. Yes, he keeps an inventory for Beckman. Do you want to talk to him?" She looks over at a mortified Chuck and says to him, "Don't worry" and hands him the phone.

"Casey, congratulations on catching the bad guy. No, I was told that it was Castle's. Well yes only that one time and you joined me. I do keep a bottle of Chardonnay in the mini-fridge. It helps me when doing computerish things. Yes, but nothing ever illegal. I was called the Piranha. Whoa, as I said nothing illegal. The Piranha has a file. What does it say? I told you. A job offer. Are you going to tell the General? I guess not. Do you need to talk to Sarah? He has slept-walked before. Thanks Casey. If I don't… Huh, he hung up. He's going to bring him to his apartment." He said handing her phone back.

"What's this about a Piranha?"

He gulped, "Sarah, we are getting so off track, it isn't that big of a deal. What were we doing before the call?" As Chuck recalled he started feeling heat creeping up his neck, "Ok maybe a little before that… you were checking my endurance. Oh boy." He looked over and could tell that Sarah was not going to help him out. Unbeknownst to him, she figured anything she said would make the situation harder… more difficult. "Alright, you said I proved your point," catching a breath, "what was the point?"

This brought Sarah back, "the point was you can carry me when I'm in trouble and when I'm not. You seem to have enough strength for me."

"Come on Sarah, those other guys are specimens. I'm like Mr. Fantastic."

"Yes you are." She said eyeing him up and down, then smiled, "Chuck, if you want to work on your physique, I'd be more than happy to help you with that." Adding a little seductiveness to her tone, hoping that if he agreed that took the bunker plan off the table for him.

Part of Chuck's mind was numb the other was acting like that toy monkey with the cymbals just going completely nuts while he abhorred the idea of working out; with Sarah it was fun, it was a rare time they could both just be themselves. "You minx." She smiled, he smiled and shook his head, "I will say you've done an excellent job of squashing my fears and while your offer is extremely tempting I think its better we not make any commitments until we've both had our full say. I'd never want to force you into anything you didn't want to do."

"I know that Chuck, it's one of the things I… I know." She trailed off softly.

He knew what she was trying to say and while he would love to hear it this conversation would end and although it would be spectacular, fairly certain the Fibonacci sequence will help his endurance. If they didn't get everything out they could fall into a pattern similar to before misinterpreting signals, holding back something to not hurt the other. While he was confident that she was feeling and wanting this just as much as him. He paused and looked at the big picture more clinically lacking the romantic haze he'd often view it through. The thought that finally came through was if this was the woman he wanted to share his life with why hold anything back. She'd seen him at his worst and she is still here. He just hoped it wouldn't push Sarah too much, but from piecing as much from her past as he knew she had less experience than he of relationships and would put too much emphasis on not being 'normal' whenever something was off. "Sarah, I know too." They both smiled. "We've talked quite a bit, but like what you did with my 'Bryce hang-up' I think we should start from the beginning and just ask and answer any questions. This way we can keep any small stuff from cascading into something it never should get to."

His paraphrasing of her explanation regarding Bryce types made her relax a little; although this was completely foreign territory for her she felt that this needed to be done. She was concerned because Prague was still sitting there until the end, but she could see the similarity. If they resolved or at least understood everything that built up to it, it probably won't be as daunting. "Ok Chuck, so do we start when I first entered the Buy More."

Chuck flashed his big grin, "Actually I have a few questions about Bryce's stories. Did you like them?"

"Yes, they were funny and sweet; which Bryce only became after becoming quite intoxicated. For your next question, yes sometimes shots from me were attributed to other women at whatever establishment we were at. Anything else?"

"One last question and this will be locked away, although some of the stories do need to be retold to know what really happened." She giggled at that. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Her giggling stopped and a slight look of panic came over her until Chuck offered his hand which she grabbed with both of hers.

"I didn't know if you would feel better or worse knowing that. Considering when Bryce left one or both of us weren't in the best frame of mind to talk about him by the time we'd recovered bringing him up seemed like kerosene on an open wound." She said with her eyes never leaving his.

"I understand and am grateful for your thoughtfulness, but we need to be able to tell each other everything; even the things that might hurt because those are usually the things that damage relationships." He almost cringed upon saying this not wanting to sound too much like a teacher.

Sarah asked with a note of concern, "Why did you make that face after saying that, I thought it made sense."

"I'm sorry and to prove my point even more, I thought I sounded like some type of expert when I am anything but."

"Except when compared to me," she said sadly.

"I'm not sure of that, I just know the way you've grown up and in joining the CIA has trained you to hold back. I want you to know that you don't have to with me. I know it will be difficult until we get to Prague, but if we work through this maybe what happened there can make more sense. Both of us are neophytes in relationships, but I know I want one with you."

While not a complete surprise, after Prague she didn't think that he did anymore, but she did not want to be a consolation prize for not being a spy. "Chuck…" stuck in not finding the words exasperatedly uttered, "Why am I scared?" Shocked she immediately brought her hands to her mouth waiting for a laugh.

"The same reason I am, we both want this so badly and each of us are certain if it doesn't it will be our fault and never recover." The solemn tone in which he said it showed her they were fighting similar battles although not the same ones.

"It's like a building." He looked quizzically, but wanted her to explain, "If the foundation has cracks in it, no matter how great the building above it is, it will fall."

With a look of pride he stated, "You're right, what we're doing is shoring up the foundation. Ok I guess we start at the Buy More, you were impressed with my singing when you walked up to the counter. You can admit it."

After that they started going through their missions and cover dates. For the most part they were surprised that they often felt the same way and it was not a laborious conversation even through dealing with Jill. However with the mission in the suburbs the tone became more serious. "Beckman was pissed about the Fulcrum download. She said the gloves were off. So of course you walk in right after that and I destroyed you. I was so mad at everything except you and you had to take that." She sighed, "That's when you went into Casey's stash?"

"Yes, don't worry I told him it was the combination of extra secrets in my head along with Morgan constantly asking what to do to get Anna back. He actually picked the bottle and poured us each one, drank his, and then said, 'Take one more, anymore might make you unavailable if we need you. Then go home.' I was too stunned to say thanks, but he was probably grateful it spared him the lady feelings."

"Chuck, he knew. He saw the footage when you came in. He told me, 'while it was difficult I had to do it, there is too much at stake.' I wonder if he knew Beckman was planning the 49B?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, at least I know that the house meant as much to you as to me. Plus the breakfast dispelled any thoughts from the Weinerlicious." Not holding back the grin from both the breakfast and the lingerie Sarah was wearing.

"I thought I told you their stuff was just that bad, granted I never got used to their deep fryer. Are you really ok with what happened?"

"I understand what you had to do and I don't want you to feel bad about it, being completely honest I am not one-hundred percent over it, but this helped out knowing more of the story." Looking at her she still maintained that hopeful smile. Working their way to Ellie's wedding, Sarah's spy guy talk had Chuck answering a lot of the questions he would have asked prior. The Morgan IOU brought out Sarah's ire until she pointed out the timing of Casey which nobody would have wanted or possibly recovered from and that they would not have had this talk. Chuck gave her a prideful smile, glad that she was as appreciative of this conversation and getting as much from this as she was. At this point though a feeling of dread started to come over him as they were nearing the end and then decide what they were. Getting through the wedding was easy as each had a good understanding of what the other was thinking at that time and why.

"I can't put it off any longer, can I?"

"Nope, but tell me how you thought you were doing in the beginning of your training."

"Pretty good, most… actually all my instructors seemed to be pleased with what I was doing. For the most part I was trying to do the things I would see you and Casey do and I did give you guys' credit. Beckman was even pleased and said she felt confident enough that she could leave early, but would be back for my final tests. After she left things were still going well, and it didn't seem like they wanted me to be their robot, they thought I could help protect people. The only thing that put some doubt was when they brought in their top martial arts instructor. He made some comments about you."

"I know, Beckman told Casey."

"Everything?"

"Quite a bit I think, but I was getting a little angry; I think Casey was too so she didn't say everything. So I guess you have to." She said knowing this was going to be more painful for him to say than for her to hear.

"Before I do, know that I knew he was lying once he started." He said resolutely.

"Chuck, I have never done anything that was like what Beckman described."

"I believe you. Ok when he came in he asked about you…" He described everything that Beckman had said and more, much more about some events of that fictitious evening. Through this she remained surprisingly calm mainly because of the confident way he said he knew the instructor was lying. He described the fight, much more humbly than Beckman's description or Casey's exuberance would convey and concluded. "After I connected I called over the medical crew to take a look. While I wanted to hurt him for what he said I also wanted to know why he would lie about it."

"Chuck, thank you for having so much faith in me, but how were you convinced?"

"I forgot one detail, he said the date you met him was September 26, 2007."

"Our first date." She said smiling at her baggage carrier.

"Even with that I felt really bad about what I did."

Sarah nodded knowing Chuck would feel this way, "Chuck I know, but you controlled your emotions; once he was defeated you did not follow up. I'm not sure if I could have done so."

"Well, I think it may have gotten me a little too cocky, the next thing they had me do was some sort of combination obstacle course and target shooting. I asked what your time was and they said that they didn't have women do this. I wasn't given any time to follow up with why, so I went through it well and they said it was a record and that Casey had held the previous mark. It wouldn't be official unless I did it at the course in Langley, but they thought this setup was more difficult. After going through it, I still don't know why it wouldn't be part of your training; I would think you'd be really good at it."

She once again smiled, "I don't know either, but I did go through it and unofficially I would have had the second best time. I beat Bryce's time by point two seconds, but Casey's time was much better because of his shooting accuracy."

"I knew it, but after knowing I was to meet with you I had been forming a speech. Seeing you I just froze, telling it to you now cannot come close to making up what I did to you. However I have to tell you the reasons why I chose to stay and the one realization I had right after leaving you that I have to apologize for. Is there one you wish to hear first?" He said wanting to hear her voice once again before starting this.

Wanting to remain calm and going over their story, she realized they had broken each other's hearts numerous times yet both yearned for each other even more '_This is either love or masochism'_ she conceded to herself. For Chuck's question she wanted to start him with what would be easier for him, making sure she was focused on him with soft eyes she stated, "Let's start with the realization."

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, opened them and started to talk in a slightly forced way which kept him from speaking too rapidly, "Leaving you on that platform, I took a look back and realized that you weren't there as Agent Walker, but Sarah. I knew that you didn't want me to be a spy and I thought that you were taking me away just to protect me. The other problem was I associated it with Barstow and it hadn't occurred to me what you were prepared to give up because you had just done it. The look of loss on your face still haunts me when I think back. I don't remember walking to that bakery you told me about, but somehow I placed the order for the crew and just sat there trying to figure out how I could have not known. This life is everything you've worked so hard for and that you were prepared to give that up for me not only once, but twice shouldn't diminish it, but showed how deeply you felt for me. I don't believe I deserve your forgiveness, but I will ask for it nevertheless."

She still looked at him softly and simply said, "Chuck, what were the reasons you wanted to stay?"

Not seeing contempt in her features allowed him to continue, "The most important reason I think I've already said, in that I chose to upload it to help people and you were the person who convinced me that I can be somebody who can do that even if you have to sacrifice something that you want. The next reason may appear to be a little selfish, but knowing how much I respect you and I would never consider myself your equal, at least by being a peer instead of your asset some of our interactions could be more cordial." He said with a look which showed he was holding back something.

Easily reading his look and coming to that conclusion before their talk, "Chuck I think you're trying to spare my feelings, especially when I was the one who was treating you so harshly. During my time before and after the station I've had a lot more free time than I wanted to, leaving time to think, and all I could think about was us. So I had gone over a lot of what we've just discussed. The fact that you took the things that I said and did to you and still wanted me had convinced me you were the greatest person I had ever met and that you thought you didn't deserve me was so stupid because it was obvious I did not deserve you. Then Prague happened and I did not know what to think. Had I built you up to a status that was impossible to be real? Had the spy life already changed you? I was lost and hurt and still unsure even when I saw you sleeping the other day. When you came into the op, I was happy that you seemed to have hope, but then you poured everything into that kiss didn't you? Of course you had to give me the kiss I was expecting in Prague. Apparently I hit you harder then I first thought. I am sorry about that and now here I am waiting to see if you are going to choose a bunker." She stopped and looked down defeated as the toll of the initially blown op added onto the emotionally draining experience this day has been.

"Sarah." He said as he pulled her towards him, "I think the discussion is over except for two items. One I will never choose a bunker over you. I had pretty much decided in the bathroom that I could not leave you again; the only thing that would have made me go is if you didn't want me to stay or couldn't accept my apology. With our new idea of confirming things instead of just assuming. You do want me to stay, right?" He said with a small smirk, but mostly hope was bursting through.

She put a jab into his shoulder for the smirk, his "Ow!" response did force her eyes open and she finally did see the mark on his face. For the most part she was looking at his opposite profile or with the angle and the incoming sun, it looked like a smudge. "Chuck, yes I want you to stay, I'm hoping the assassin got in a lucky shot."

"Nope it was somebody who knows a hundred ways to kill me; simply gave me what I earned from Prague."

"Ok, but perhaps you can tell me the second thing while I give you what you earned today."

Somewhat scared of the mercurial nature of the most amazing person he'd ever know, he quickly complied, "I don't think I can go back to being an asset."

As he felt her lips touch the part of his cheek where the bruise was showing she added, "I don't think so either."

"So…" he said as he was barely hanging on as her kissing continued.

"Casey and I will train you, but there's something serious we need to discuss about it after."

"After?"

A quirked eyebrow was satiated by him picking her up, kissing her and laying her on the bed.

A few hours later Sarah found herself not exactly awake, but not sleeping either on top of Chuck, her head resting on his collarbone and chest wondering how she had never felt like this before; surprised that she wasn't mentally kicking herself that she had waited so long before giving in knowing that while the passion was extreme the fact that for the first time they were in a true synchronization made this an experience she knew was going to be duplicated and the quickening beat of her heart was convincing her that it was going to get better with time. Hearing a tune that she recognized, but needed a moment as she hadn't heard it in a while, _'Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress, how could she have possibly picked this time to call.'_ An involuntary groan came out of her after her initial movement and sleepily answered her phone. "Hey Carina, what's up?"

"Apparently not you, please tell me you had a rough night and rougher morning." She said with her laugh.

"Well being up for almost thirty hours can skew a sleep cycle."

"Sarah, who is" as she placed a hand over his mouth, she could tell by the mirth on the other end of the phone she was too late.

"Good for Chuckie! So Sarah, what about the two over/under's?" She said with a hint of anticipation.

"CARINA!" She looked up at a very confused Chuck, thought for a moment and answered saucily, "Over on both."

"You know I have to confirm, right?" She teased.

"That's not going to happen." Sarah replied.

"Sheesh, no fun; so how long have you and your boy scout been scorching the sheets in Burbank?"

"Sarah… no way… today was the first… Aw I was going to ask you if you wanted to hang tonight, but I guess we wouldn't be alone."

"Carina is this business or pleasure and don't say both or I'm hanging up."

"Its business, but I did want to check on you. I'm happy for you. How was it?"

Looking up again at Chuck she smiled and said, "To był widowiskowe."

"So can you meet me at 9 and you can bring Chuckie, being a couple will help."

"Yes, I cannot guarantee how long we'll stay though, but it will be good to see you again. Widzą was późniejszy."

"You too."

As she hung up she couldn't help but see Chuck grinning his mega watt smile, "What?" she asked curiously.

"It turns out Intersect 2.0 has a few languages thrown in there. Don't go nuts I have to flash each time. More importantly how much time do you have?"

As she was overcoming the shock that he knew what she had said, "Actually she wanted the both of us, it's for a mission." Seeing some trepidation because of last night, "Relax, she wouldn't pull us in before letting us know what she is working on. More importantly we have time I think we have five hours to eat, shower, change, and ummph."

"Best not waste any time."

_**A/N: For those of you that made it through this. Congratulations. I just couldn't split it up. Know that there will be a short chapter how I see season 3 shaping up with this change and then another one as well. For those hoping for the bunker I will give some of the plot ideas I had come up with. Again thanks for reading.**_


	5. Odds and Ends

_**A/N: Again I will apologize for the length of the last chapter. I couldn't stop until I resolved it and I didn't want to tease The ending was rushed as there were other things I was going to delve into, but I had to just end it. Another thing I forgot to add in the Polish translations as Sarah was a little embarrassed about sharing information with Carina. This isn't as much a chapter as perhaps a blueprint to what this change could have meant for season 3. As a few seemed hopeful the bunker option would happen; sorry I did not go with that option, but there are a few ideas I had that I'll share and maybe crank that possibility up and see where it goes.**_

**Chapter 5: Consequences**

Before I go into the episodes I don't think it would change the main arc that much. There were only two characters that would be affected by the relationship that were added in 3. Alex was added when Charah was already in bloom, so that leaves Shaw and Hannah. Obviously things would be different for both, but there was still a lot that they could do.

**Shaw**: Instead of making him a quasi bad guy, please he's going after Sarah; here he would be a leader and maybe even a mentor to Chuck. Initially he would disapprove of their relationship, but after getting the key and her rings he does a 180 and tries to "get them the future he wasn't able to have". In turn the team jells and kicks major ass, Shaw even telling the team he was in charge of Chuck's training and it is ok. Making his 'heel' turn into a devastating loss instead of just saving Sarah.

I'll go into that a little more; however **Hannah**'s trip into the Chuckverse is going to be different. They still meet on the plane, they still get along, however when talking about the Eiffel Tower he chokes up a little, saying even though he'd always wanted to see it, not seeing it with Sarah made it almost worthless. They would still have a good discussion and when he has to stay on the plane she can say, "At least you can see it with her now." Still getting the job offer and accepting it can bring out jealous Sarah. Hannah goes over to the OO and tells her she knows Chuck is completely devoted to Sarah; she was just completely lost and was hoping that perhaps there was somebody else like Chuck around as they walked back entering the Buy More, looking around. Sarah can say, "Don't limit yourself to this place, but there has to be other good men around."

To go through some of the episodes: **Three Little Words** would not have to be changed that much: instead of being cold they could be overly amorous. I don't think the video confession is necessary to implicate Carina, the video showing the friend she had just introduced to him in his vault should be enough. To change my previous chapter, because I'd start it with the Carina phone call, hopefully allowing for one of the items I had regrettably cut from the chapter. Sarah telling Chuck why she didn't want him to be a spy, notably the Red Test. Obviously he'd still want to, but they'll include Casey who comes up with the plan of Chuck needing to become a top shot so that he can have what would appear to be kill shots, barely miss. Chuck's speech at the end would be the same, but Sarah would be showing some eye moisture; Carina after decking her fiancé would run to Chuck shocking the other two, hug Chuck and say, "Spies can fall in love, thank you for giving this to Sarah."

**Angel de la Muerte** would not need much either, could see a comment about saving the nurse outfit for later and a scene with Chuck and Casey working on his improved marksmanship. This comes into use in the next episode.

**Captain Awesome** would have some possibly major changes. With Shaw aware of what was going on instead of letting a spy-in-training and civilian free-wheeling their way through a secured facility and shocking them with having to shoot him. Also Shaw was aware firsthand about Chuck and guns so being aware of the endgame the option of another accompanying Devon would be discussed. Chuck will agree, Sarah will be worried, Casey will be confident about the training. Also Chuck will tell Devon he can only do this because he has Captain Awesome backing him up as he describes where he will shoot him and ask if there is a better area with less potential complications making Devon a little more comfortable and contributing rather than worrying. I never quite understood why the continued use of Devon would be a good plan. I've debated Chuck using his hacking skills to come up with a "Doomsday Device (big fan of ).

Where the details of everything relating to the Intersect would be released to the public, or just going with the story. Also, in the end both he and Shaw shoot Sydney, Chuck's a non-lethal one but he is shook up by it. Sarah/Casey thinks they can possibly use it in place of a Red Test, but have to convince Shaw.

**First Class** already discussed changes with Hannah; also Shaw will share his story with Chuck/Sarah after seeing the rings.

**Nacho Sampler** change would be a jealous Chuck, the discussion with Hannah/Sarah (jealous Sarah is a fun Sarah, but made it awfully predictable), a seed planted on somebody to set Hannah up with, and Sarah bringing Chuck her bottle and them sharing a drink, or three, and her telling him he did the right thing as Casey did not have a tranq. Chuck writes a letter to Manoosh telling him what he did and why and knows he can do so much good.

**THE MASK**: Where to start…I'll leave the beginning the same, with the subsequent setup of Hannah and Chuck supposed to be there, the match of Shaw/Sarah won't work as Hannah knows the strength of their relationship and neither Chuck nor Sarah will allow any talk of a cover break-up along with Casey and Shaw despising them going as a couple, Sarah springs her seed setting up a lunch with herself, Chuck, Hannah, and Shaw. Sarah tells Chuck she got tickets for the art exhibit, Chuck doesn't want to disappoint her, Hannah say she can handle it and he would be there if she needs him. The seed doesn't go as well even though there is an attraction (Superman and Lana Lang) Shaw forgot to take off his wedding ring so Hannah is told that Daniel's wife died in an accident which kills the mood.

Chuck sets up the program to take care of the security and keeping Hannah at bay. Finding out Hannah was able to get into his program allowed Casey to make a quip that he's not the Super geek he claims to be doing a little Rick James. Looking over what she used he states she's a top hacker, but needed to check something to see if she was who he thought. So the next morning Hannah's happy, not mad and since she was working alone, no need to bring Chuck in. Castle can happen in the same way; Sarah and Shaw were examining the mask when it goes off, however at the containment glass they would be pressed against it, staring at one another. Casey literally carries Chuck out and to snap out of it, he comes up with the plan. Shaw looks to see if there is anything to prolong their time, once the contamination protocol is complete he says, "I will not allow this to happen to you two." And he takes her to the gallery. Once he has the door opened and while they are taking the antidote he checks on Hannah's pulse which is strong. He goes over to the two and Shaw hands Sarah to Chuck, he says for Daniel to check on Hannah. The Ring operative would have spotted Shaw while he escaped to set up Fake Name.

**Fake Name and Beard** are tough to work with, but needing Casey to have that shot I came up with two ways for it to happen: A) Sarah shows up to bring intel and he uses the girlfriend excuse to avoid the shot. B) (Which I prefer) is that Hannah shows up there for a rendezvous and Chuck uses the above excuse to allow him to be there. After Casey makes the shot, Sarah twilights Hannah not knowing how much she'll remember they have to come up with a plan.

What Chuck comes up with once he has established that Hannah's signature code matches up with one of the best hackers (would choose either Chung-Li, but more likely Fiona- see Eurotrip or at least the song Scotty Doesn't Know). They contact Beckman and when they inform her she says according to a list that she placed at #4 and would be a valuable asset if she would be amenable. The decision on who to broach her about this position was made a little difficult as Shaw didn't want to do it as she may think he was simply setting her up for this. Chuck was willing to do it, stating that she trusted him enough to go to Burbank and as a fellow hacker could talk with her on that level.

At that point Beckman would say that The Piranha was #1 on the list, Casey making a jab after the gallery the list needed to be redone, Shaw and Beckman had a good laugh, Chuck had a "Ha Ha very funny" look, but Sarah was in full-out protective mode which made the room very quiet very quickly. "They're just teasing, thank you", then whispers, "I'd like to show you how much."

"Sorry Chuck, you are not going to talk to Hannah, at least not for a few hours. You are going to be busy practicing your defensive skills".

Chuck picks her up and says, "Later guys."

The response of two similar groans and a smirk is followed by Casey heading off upstairs mentioning some Buy More corporate interview. Shaw says, "I guess it's up to me."

After Chuck and Sarah's morning workout they get the Carmichael snippet. Casey and Sarah head off to the hotel as Chuck had to be there for his interview. Chuck gave Hannah the day off, so Shaw goes to talk to her wherever she is staying at. Things proceed from that point pretty much the same; while Chuck doesn't have the flash slump he does in canon, there would be occasions when he doesn't. Confronted initially by 'Corporate' he cannot flash and the rest goes the same until the end as Hannah will be there with Shaw at the OO. Casey and Sarah arrive just before the door opening, Sarah exploding about Shaw's decision to destroy Castle with Chuck in there he explains he's already waited far longer than he's supposed to, but will understand what she has to do if he does it. When the door opens and Morgan appears he is knocked to the ground by a blonde flash before he can straighten his tie, Chuck is knocked to the ground as well, but he doesn't mind nearly as much.

**Tic Tac** can happen as Dannah or Haniel (no wonder they didn't put them together) are off in DC getting her setup as an analyst. Just about everything else can be the same, while I subscribe to the theory that it is conflicts in his emotions which cause the misfires rather than overt emotion (know I've read it in some stories here and think it is brilliant as I don't recall it being said that way on the show). It is hard for me to come up with a conflict, forcing the use of the Laudanol; but it is important for him to use it and for Sarah to bring him back. However it scares both of them.

**Final test**: Not needing to win her back, he does pull all the stops as he realizes how stressful things have been and he wants her to know how grateful he is for her. She can tease him a little about the towel, "Why didn't you just stay in the room and call me?" Shaw has agreed to let Sydney be his Red Test, and would make sure Sarah and Chuck would always be at least paired up (he wouldn't risk putting Chuck in a kill situation if he still cannot do it), but he needs to bring in Perry, dead or alive, by himself. Just about everything else can be similar; Sarah cannot help Chuck because Beckman sent another observer as she's concluded everybody in Burbank is compromised, but is not going to break them up anymore especially with no longer Colonel Casey. Both the observer and Sarah see Chuck 'kill' the mole. Of course I have Chuck tell Sarah Casey shot the mole, but this leads to Chuck doubting that he should be a spy, if he's going to be a liability because others will assume he can do something he can't.

**American Hero**: He collects his badge and other paraphernalia from Beckman and she states after defeating the Ring the plan is to have him be the semi-retired software developer living in Europe, not wanting to commit to a specific country because when the time comes they may have to go to a different place. Chuck talks with Sarah and Shaw; but he is still downtrodden. Morgan and Awesome both notice it but Chuck says nothing is wrong. Then in the Buy More parking lot they see a saddened Sarah hugging Shaw only hearing Sarah say "I can't believe it's over". What they were talking about was Hannah and Shaw's relationship (her idea to set them up and she hates to fail a mission) they also heard about meeting at a bistro and went to get Casey.

In DC Chuck checked in on Hannah and found out she was flying back to get the rest of her things that were in Burbank, she wanted to surprise Daniel so asked if Chuck could pick her up at the airport. Chuck told Sarah and knowing how spies hate surprises she told Shaw. Guessing how hurt Hannah would be she wanted Chuck and her there so they could be there if she needed them. Casey didn't believe for a second Charah was broken, but he went to keep an eye that the two morons didn't do anything. So they borrowed Loretta, and went to get Chuck but couldn't find him. The next things played out somewhat similarly despite Shaw and Sarah sitting together Casey didn't believe it so it played out about the same; Chuck showed up and sat down at the table with Sarah, Hannah was waiting at a table more in the back, Shaw did not want it by the window in case Hannah was emotional and became more embarrassed doing it in front of a window.

The aftermath when Morgan and Awesome were explaining had Chuck laughing at some parts, Shaw looking somewhat understandingly, Sarah's look had the officer joke maybe they would let her handle it caused both to jump in the back of the squad car, bringing a smile to her face. Casey could only say he told them and tried to stop them. The rest of the night was bad as Shaw did 'It's not you it's me', but by emphasizing he was not over his wife. Hannah now with the CIA was told the story she was shot by the Ring and accepted it, but still felt incredibly lost and got drunk.

Shaw left for Castle to recuperate from going through a window and the meat grinder at hurting a sweet person. Sarah offered to drive Hannah home, but Chuck said the Nerd Herder could be hosed on the inside, Jeff and Lester experiences, he said perhaps she could drive her to the airport, it didn't make sense for her to stay as she had drunk-kayaked a flight back to DC the next morning. Upon realizing her flight was leaving in four hours, the alcohol fully hit her and she passed out. Chuck called Sarah who was taking a bath trying to erase what her hopefully future brother-in-law thought. When Sarah called back Hannah's flight was in three hours and Chuck had reluctantly packed up her things (things including assorted underwear which Chuck was hoping would come over and pack). Realizing they had only briefly talked all day they spent the next 90 minutes catching up.

Panicking Chuck that he had to leave for the airport and to try and wake Hannah. Chuck gets her there on time and on her plane; Sarah goes to Castle to check on Shaw. Shaw decides to turn himself in and get blown up. Sarah calls Chuck he says he'll follow the tracker and Sarah will try and see if she can delay the bomb run. The rest can play out except Sarah can give the heart-tugging love declaration at the end. Shaw wakes up and makes a phone call.

**The Other Guy: **Beckman contacts Chuck/Sarah with the remnant video clip and they realize the implication. As they take the image of Sarah turning off the monitor, Shaw comes in a few moments later. Stating he has a lead on the Ring Director's location. Before that the General debriefs Shaw about what happened earlier. Shaw told them he was brought into a room and the Director was there. A video began playing with his wife saying she loved me. Then I heard her shot, I ran to where the Director was and threw a punch through the hologram, but it said, "The Ring did not order the death of my wife, they didn't know she was a plant. Her death was ordered by Langston Graham. I lost control as I know I was tranqued, but don't remember anything else until the phone call woke me up." Shaw leaves to prepare, Beckman tells them they cannot tell Shaw Sarah killed his wife. They go to the Director's lair and things go the same as canon.

After they talk with Beckman and the France part comes up. She wants to send all three but they cannot break through Graham's security functions to find out if (for Shaw why for everybody else) he did have Shaw's wife ordered to die. Hannah had a scheduled day off and was not responding to her messages. All three would fly to DC, Chuck would do what he can and they they'd go off to Paris. They go to Hannah's place and she is out, Shaw tells Beckman Hannah is sick and might need another 24 hours to get over the virus. Chuck goes to unlock Graham's files and Sarah/Shaw go to the airport to wait. Chuck is late and Beckman calls to say she has tickets on the next flight, but Shaw insists on going and Sarah decided to go with.

Morgan excited that Chuck has gotten footage of one of his missions becomes annoyed that Chuck sent him training footage as the punches and kicks are clearly missing. As the plane taxi's and takes off Chuck makes it to the terminal. Just then Morgan calls complaining about the footage and who did he think he was fooling. After some back and forth, both realize that something is up and he tells him to get Casey and get into Castle to talk to the General. The talk goes just as badly in my version, but Chuck and Morgan convince Casey to come help him. Casey flies to Washington and gets there in time for the next flight to Paris. Things can go pretty similar if you listen to the dialogue I don't think you need to change anything, except Shaw's inflection. There needs to be regret, he's creating a repeat of his life with Chuck and acceptance that he is broken, when Chuck comes up behind him Shaw needs to be convincing that Chuck needs to kill him not because he wants to kill Sarah, he doesn't, but everything he has done since his wife's death has brought him here and he has to kill her.

After that we can go canon with only some subtle things like the Ellie "You're back together?" isn't necessary.

**Bunker Thoughts**

I did consider the bunker option, but in plotting it I ran into some brick walls. Shaw would train Chuck and they would be using the Intersect to help agents all over. Including two in Burbank; Sarah would not have gotten to the apartment on time, found the three notes on the table, went into his room found her note and shirt. She'd be crying in the shirt when Ellie would arrive, be so glad to see her see the tears and ask what her brother had done. She'd say that he's gone and there are notes for her, Devon, and Morgan on the table. Ellie would check and Sarah would sneak out. Shaw would routinely check in with his major teams; Sarah would leave when Chuck would appear. The note given to Beckman sitting unopened on the table. One particular day after the video briefing Chuck sends one to Casey which is encrypted so they can speak openly, Beckman allows this to talk about the safety of his family, he'll get some intel on Sarah, but not much. This time it's completely about her. "Has she opened it?"

"No, picks it up every day, but sets it back down"

"Casey, it's really important that I communicate with her today, I'm going to send her an e-mail, it just has a YouTube clip, but I need for her to see it."

"Ok, kid. Send it to me and I'll take care of it."…

"Casey, why would I want to see an email Chuck sent to you?"

"You owe him this much. Don't you ever repeat this, but I'd rather have him here with us as well, but the work he's done helping agents all over the world should make you proud of him."

"Casey I never wanted this for him."

"But he wants you Walker, it's not like you were leaving the…" The look on her face gave it away, "When? You never got to tell him."

"At Ellie's second wedding I was going to tell Chuck at the reception when his dad came over to say Bryce had been taken by a dead CIA agent and you know the rest."

'_Like hell I do, but I'm not pushing it' "_The moron loaded up the 2.0." A grunt followed by the lighting of a cigar, "It's fucked up Walker."

"Yes it is"

"No, you avoiding him like the plague, when you should try to enjoy whatever limited time you can have together."

Sarah, looked over at Sugarbear, walked up to him and punched him in the shoulder.

"Hey"

"Nobody calls him a moron, I have something to see. Thank you John."

"Get him back here, Sarah" he whispered leaving the room.

She uploaded the clip, _'Chuck you know I don't like cartoons.' _Still, she was able to recognize this was from The Simpson's and in it was this large man sounding an awful lot like Michael Jackson singing, 'Happy Birthday, Lisa'. _'How did he find out about either?'_ The tears began to fall as the clip ended, because she did not want to miss any other message Chuck may have for her. She grabs the letter, running to her office and opens it.

Chuck was taking a break when he heard the ringtone. Running to his room he got there quickly and cautiously said, "Hello" at first there were no words, but there was crying.

After a while a broken voice called out, "When are you coming home?" and the crying continued.

At this point Chuck completely breaks down.

And there's the wall, because how does Chuck stay with that.

_**A/N: There is a chapter I am still planning with Chuck's letter to Sarah. Debating whether to do that or try to start fleshing out some of the other ideas I had. One is a bringing back of my favorite Chuck fanfic incarnation. The other, a question of bringing Yvonne into the Marvel universe. I'll see what I can get done this weekend.**_


	6. Moving Day

_**AA/N:Just tried to clean up a few passages some found confusing.**_

_**A/N: Yes, like everybody else, I'm going to chime in with a post series chapter. While this doesn't fall within what I think happened; I have watched too many Disney Princess movies with my niece to think anything else. This will finish off this not so little story. Thanks to those that read it, a bigger one to those that followed and reviewed it.**_

**Chapter 6: Moving Day**

It was hard to believe that it was time as she leaned into the doorway of her and Chuck's bedroom. It had taken so long to consider anyplace as home the first time she had done it, thankfully it didn't take nearly as much the second time around. Thanks to Chuck; she says that about most things in her life mostly to herself, but when she needs to she can talk to Alex, or Ellie, or her mom.

She thought back to the morning after Chuck uploaded the Intersect; she recalled before leaving Castle watching three comrades not really saying goodbye to each other in as much as conveying that it may be awhile before they see one another, but if any of them needed one or the other they would always be there. She knew she had to be present, but it was so awkward; the looks she got showed caring, but also a sense of loss; it was breaking her heart that she had so many people who cared for her, but didn't know if she was in there or gone. When Chuck mentioned something about Morgan, she was hoping for any sign for her to stay. Even though she'd been all alone for the life that she remembered, it never hit her like it was at this moment. The loneliness was like a cloak enveloping her and Chuck was the only one who could work through it.

After barely forging her way through the steps and to her Lotus she had no idea what she was to do or where to go, so she went to her training and called the General whom had just left. First the General told her to call her Diane, then said while there wasn't a job to offer as a spy there were two assignments for her: to heal and to watch over Chuck. While a job wasn't why she called; she wanted to know how long the government was paying for the room and if she could look over her reports to possibly jog her memories. The answers surprised her on both; the government was not paying for her room '_Chuck'_ and the General… Diane was talking with a medical team she'd put together concerning her condition and they were in disagreement, leaving it to Diane's discretion, she chose not to give them to me because of the strong possibility I changed details to keep Chuck from ending in a bunker. Diane thanked me again for everything I've done, _'I wish I knew'_ and reiterated her two assignments.

She didn't recall getting into, starting, or driving her car; it was as if she and her car materialized at her hotel. She went to her room and was changing into something more casual. She still had no clue as to what she was going to do, but it wasn't going to be sitting in this room because she knew how it would end up; her watching that damned DVD, her calling Chuck, and hanging up not knowing what to say. Of course last night she'd been brave; she was able to squeak out, "Goodnight Chuck" which started him to cry before saying, "Goodnight, Sarah". She now wondered if he thought she was saying goodbye and was leaving him forever. With that she found herself become physically ill. She cleaned herself up, finished changing and took off to parts unknown ending up on a beach parking lot. Never a big fan of large bodies of water, something about this particular area seemed very tranquil. She'd thought about Diane's assignments and thought this was an opportune time to get started on her first one. Although it was sunny, the wind coming off the water was surprisingly cold. She was getting set to find someplace warmer to reflect when it seemed as though the temperature rose at least ten degrees.

"I was hoping you'd be here" (Yada, yada, yada being here makes knowing the scene a must). Hearing their story up to their wedding made her realize she would be a damn fool if she left. Then the kiss, it started off so sweetly, from the first instant she knew they had spent a lot of time at this, as a test she decided to amp it up a little and he returned it in kind. However the next time he just maintained the intensity, '_Bad husband! What?'_ Then he shifted the angle, _'Oh…'_ and her lips suddenly felt a cool breeze as well as slightly swollen. "So?" he asked trying to not put the weight of the entire world upon the answer.

Making the answer as painless but as truthful as possible, he deserved that, "I need to catch my breath first, but that did not remind me of any Disney kiss." She said with a smile, but grabbing his hand before saying her next part, "I'm sorry; you don't know how much I wanted it to work," looking up expecting to see disappointment, instead seeing a smile of hope.

"The fact that you wanted it to work, tells me enough. Sarah, although it may be awkward, please come home with me. I can be in the other room or on the couch; you always said I helped you sleep better and with everything that has happened, it can't hurt for both of us to get a decent night's sleep."

It made sense, perhaps the familiarity of the surroundings would help get back some memories, besides she caught the 'us' in needing sleep, he was right her sleep had been rocked with nightmares except for the one night with him. "Chuck one of the first things you asked was for me to trust you. I do, so yes I will come home. We can discuss sleeping arrangements when we get there" '_Especially if more kissing is involved, granted neither was ready for sex yet, but she was fairly certain she liked to tease Chuck a little'_. "Chuck, there is something else that I haven't told you, because there never seemed to be a good time." Chuck looked over anxiously his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, "I didn't detonate the bomb. I told Quinn that you were secure and you could be arrested, but that bas… he detonated it. I think I know why I was so angry at him at that point now, but he was able to use your switching of the glasses to reconfirm his story." She looked at him trying to determine his reaction_, 'Had he forgotten about it and I just brought back the memory of his wife trying to kill him?'_

For what seemed like an hour he blankly stared, then released a huge breath. "Sarah, I was not going to hold that against you, but you have no idea how relieved that makes me." He then swooped in for a hug as she closed her eyes embracing the warmth. "I think it's time Sarah, where did you park?"

The ride home was quiet; something she sensed was unusual for Chuck. The fact that he took a cab to the beach without knowing she was there just added to the attraction that she could not deny. They didn't say a word until she had parked and turned off the car; she looked at Chuck with a wide grin which immediately disappeared into dismay as she could only say, "Ellie?" From Chuck's file she knew his sister was the most important person in his life '_Was?' _and even though he hid it, he was far more scared of Ellie being hurt than himself. She didn't want to go through this, but also did not want to put Chuck through a horrible situation. _'Sorry I threatened your life, when you were driving I did have the safety on.'_ She had a husband and a daughter, but to Agent Walker she was merely a bargaining chip. She had to put Agent Walker away if there was any chance to gain acceptance, trust was unimaginable at this point.

Chuck got out of the car and went around to her side helping her out and saying, "Sarah, it was her idea about using the glasses to get your memories back, and she may be the only person who literally understands what you've gone through. They were leaving today, but pushed it back until tomorrow morning. I don't know who is there waiting for us, but even though I know you are the bravest person alive. Don't worry I've got your back." Those words struck a chord and she had gained some confidence going through the portico entering the courtyard. That quickly diminished as five people closed the distance in nanoseconds surrounding them and four voices: three female and one male talking and talking over one another. She was confused as Agent Walker did not react instead it was Jenny Burton and she quickly just turned to Chuck and hugged him. The talking died down slightly, but there was one voice that wanted his question answered.

When Morgan saw Chuck shake his head and mouth 'no' he broke down saying "Sorry, I really thought it would work". Expecting the same derision when he brought up the idea originally he heard nothing and looking up was surrounded by everybody else crying, especially Ellie who had to turn away with Devon holding her. They all had been hoping for it to work as well. Chuck at this point was in protective mode, as he was sure Sarah was regretting this, something Morgan thought he and Casey were the only ones privy to and by the quiet nobody seemed to want to dare break or test him. Morgan just repeated, "Sorry" and walked away with Alex trying to console him.

Mary saw her son as a man for the first time outside the hospital when he brought in the antidote and realized he would protect Sarah as much as she would him. This was the same look, not wanting to intrude any further she caught Chuck's attention and mouthed, "I am so proud of you." and walked back to her daughter's apartment. At this time the only person who hadn't said a word nodded to Chuck and placed a warm comforting hand on Sarah's shoulder causing her to look using her arm and hair to block her face her wide blue eyes told the story of a puppy coming to a large house and was completely overwhelmed by the attention. "Sarah, I am so glad I got to see you before we left. I hope you get to see Clara before we head out tomorrow. Take care of her, bro. Ell; I'll make some tea."

"Thank you Devon" a tired voice said.

A highly emotional Eleanor Woodcomb was dumbstruck, there were so many things she wanted to say, ask; she could also tell by her brother's look even she wasn't going to get any quarter if she pushed too hard. "Sarah please relax its just you, Chuck, and I out here." Her non-response and Chuck's lightened look told her Sarah needed a little more reassurance before responding. Ellie went over and sat on the fountain, Chuck and Sarah turned and they were able to make themselves a step away from it. "I know you're overwhelmed right now and I don't want to add to it, but I would like to at least talk to you tomorrow if you don't want to right now, Ok sis?" She said trying her best to keep a calm tone.

In a very small voice, "Ellie, sorry is so far from adequate for what I did to you. I just hope that someday you can't see me as a monster."

Ellie stood up and brushed some hair from Sarah's face wondering how could this be the same person that threatened her such a short time ago. Up until Sarah brought it up she hadn't realized there was some anger towards her, it was nothing though compared to what she felt towards Quinn, and she realized she was her mother's daughter as against everything she believed in added a suggestion when her mother was mumbling about what she would do if given one minute with that bastard. Her mom had chuckled and said, "I never would have thought of that. Eleanor it is ok to vent especially when something so heinous has been done to somebody you care about. I hope you will let me be there for you."

"Sarah… sweetie, yes I can, I only want to help you."

Sarah deftly unhinged herself from Chuck and locked onto Ellie, "Thank you" came out between waves of tears as Ellie began to cry as well and apparently Sarah's holding of Chuck was the only thing holding his tears back as they were flowing from him also. After an amount of time, the group hug, Sarah had pulled Chuck in as she needed that connection, ended and the siblings headed off to their respective apartments. Being completely drained in almost every conceivable way postponed the sleeping arrangement discussion as the younger Bartowski couple simply removed their shoes before collapsing on their bed.

Twelve hours later found the two intertwined, smiling, and just waking up from either's best night's sleep in a few weeks. "I'm sorry, Sarah" he said softly not wanting her to freak out about their current entanglement.

"For what?" She lazily said unable to recall the last time she felt this relaxed.

"I'm too comfortable to move you." He added with a big grin.

"Well, how do you think I feel?" She replied, beginning to enjoy the banter as she couldn't hold back her smile.

"I know how you feel, that's why I don't want to move you" Adding with a smirk, instinctively preparing for a pillow, or a punch, or even… '_Damnit, I say I'm not going to push her, yet the first possible chance I make an innuendo, real smart.'_

She playfully punched his shoulder smiling, but soon became lost, not knowing if this was a routine and he was perhaps hoping her memory returned.

"Whoa, Sarah." He said as he tried to wrap his arms back around her waist, "I don't want you to think I'm pushing our physical relationship, but know that you are in charge of that pace. You also need to know that there was not a miraculous change you underwent to become the person these people all love. It is just you."

The last part of what he said completely baffled her and her look showed that, '_How can that be possible, she was a spy one who prided herself on being professional, who always got the job done, and cold'_ while there was no pride in the last part just thinking back on what happened yesterday she had laughed and cried more in one day than the rest of her life she knew combined. Chuck could see she was analyzing what he had said and was going from incredulity to acceptance. He could tell she believed it when she added seductively, "Chuck, having me set the pace could be a dangerous thing." '_Yes she was positive she enjoyed teasing Chuck'. _

"Don't worry I think I can handle it Mrs. Bartowski." He said confidently, then with a slight wince as he realized she might not be ready for it; looking up he'd never been as happy to be wrong. She had a look of innocence which matched one of the greatest feelings of love he'd ever experienced, when she first recited her wedding vows. The look grew into one of determination which meant she was putting herself on a mission and he was confident for the first time since her return that things were going to work out.

'Mrs. Bartowski' she repeated to herself, it just brought such a feeling of warmth and love. She'd gone through so many names that she had lost count. All given to her by somebody else; caring enough about them only to remember it for the job she was on. This was different, she had earned this name and at that time realized that nothing was going to stop her from deserving that name again. The cloak of loneliness was obliterated and replaced with the care and affection all these wonderful people have shown her. The lack of memories didn't matter to her nearly as much as she thought they should. The key was she trusted Chuck, to leave or be worried about the memories not returning was foolish and Sarah Bartowski was no fool.

Sarah now looking to their bed could only smile and be so thankful, because if she had left not wanting to come back until she remembered everything or at least regaining a majority of her memories she would still be out there someplace undoubtedly miserable, desperately trying any possible thing to bring her back here. For the first month she underwent numerous tests and then there'd be a weekly chat at Castle with her, Chuck, Ellie and Beckman. Mostly it was Beckman and Ellie talking about the things that could hinder or help, but it was always speculation. The last conference was preceded the night before with Ellie making three phone calls between 2 and 4 am PST. The first Ellie was unbelievably happy finding some 1950's New Zealand study about WWII veterans who suffered from severe shell-shock. The next call was in a panic hoping he hadn't already implemented the strategies. The third call was that it may work, but she didn't want to build their hopes up.

The next morning Sarah took control of the meeting, normally she said nothing. First stating that she was disappointed that her memories weren't returning back and that two of her recovered memories were also accompanied by bad headaches, but she didn't blame anybody for this, it was unknown science. She thanked Diane for going beyond to help, but if the main concern was about her and Chuck she needn't worry. If the scientists/doctors ever came to a consensus they would happily listen, but there had to be more pressing national matters to take care of and if she was hampering efforts in keeping the country safe that would affect her far more than never recovering the rest of her memories. The General looked at the two of them and recognized their feelings were still there as apparent as they had always been. Diane said she understood, but if they ever needed anything to let her know and signed off. Leaving an extremely rundown Eleanor Bartowski staring at them, "Ellie I am so grateful for how hard you have been working to help me, but Clara and Devon have to be your main concern. It has been hard enough to forgive myself on how I treated you that day, but to see you like this and hearing you last night I need you to stop. Please. I love my life with Chuck right now and although the memories would be nice they could only confirm my feelings about the best person I've ever known and his sister the second best. I don't need them to know those feelings are correct." Looking at the monitor Ellie was crying and slightly agitated as she needed something to hug.

Chuck kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, "Well Mrs. Bartowski you are the best person I know."

Ellie let out a squeak of delight at seeing the two of them as happy as she could ever remember. This did calm her down enough to offer her reply, "Ok Sarah, I will put this on the back burner, but know that I do want to get your memories back if for nothing else then to correct your placements. I do not like to finish behind my little brother in anything!" This caused all three to laugh and also feel incredibly sad over the distance between them. "When can you guys come out for another weekend?"

Sarah and Chuck looked at one another and Chuck said, "We're going down to see Emma and Molly this weekend, so tell Devon we'll have our Meaty Legend rematch next weekend, which should give him some time to train."

She shook her head amazed at the amount of food he still can consume as he beat Devon again that weekend. Looking over the room it surprised her that with all of Chuck's stuff gone from the room except the furniture it didn't seem any bigger. She'd looked at getting another bed, but Chuck gave his puppy dog eyes and said the bed was important so she acquiesced. Chuck and Morgan were making a run with his electronics and on the way back pick up the rental truck to take the furniture. Sarah decided to bring the bed and desk from their room first; if she waited for them they'd start reminiscing again leaving her to do the work anyways. Seeing she needed an Allen wrench for the bed she decided to move the desk. As she grabbed the desk she wondered how long it had been in that same position and was surprised as to how light it was '_This could be easy'_ and brought it to the living room. Coming back with the Allen wrench and some paper towels, she knew that there would be an accumulation of dust bunnies and what not; she did not expect to find a letter, particularly one addressed to her. Sitting on the bed she just looked at it and wondered all sorts of things: when did he write it, why did he write it, why didn't he give it to her, or had he, would it trigger memories, one with a headache? Chuck laid out the basics of their lives, but without any emotional input which was difficult for him. The one thing the 'experts' all agreed upon was not having Chuck creating false memories that inadvertently could cause serious problems if her true memories returned.

She had her phone in one hand and the letter in the other, should she call Chuck; her curiosity was piqued and she was sure he would say no, after an in-depth q & a regarding a rescue of Chuck's mom starting from a brief glimpse about this disgusting platter of food resulted in a headache after that he was reticent about any stories. She thought about Alex who was 'minding the store' making sure CI was running smoothly, as always. She didn't want to put her in the middle, because Alex's first thought would be 'why aren't you asking Chuck'. Ellie would definitely be a no go as well, and her Mom would have to be told about her headaches which she didn't want to do at this time. She gave in and called Chuck, but it went to voicemail and left a message for him to call back it's not an emergency but she needed to talk to him about something she found. She would give him time to respond so she brought out the rest of the furniture from the other bedroom and double checked that all the other rooms were clear. This brought her back to their bedroom she took out everything except the bed that the letter was sitting on. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, _'Living in fear is not living'_ she would give Chuck another minute and stepped into the living room to see that everything was all set for them to load and go. Checking her phone, she sighed, turned the envelope over and used an ankle knife to open it; she returned the knife and sat there for another minute. She chose to feel how many pages as there were to act as the determining factor whether to read it. If it was too long she would let it sit because it would probably go into great detail and if there was a headache Chuck would rightfully be mad. She pulled the letter from the envelope but had her eyes closed, she unfolded it, and was waiting for any sign to tell her to put it back; none came and she opened her eyes. Looking at it there were two immediate things, first it was upside down which brought a giggle and next that the letter was in Polish which meant Chuck didn't want anybody to immediately read it.

It was a difficult read both because her Polish was a little rusty and secondly for the content. Chuck had definitely not told her the level of difficulty they had after he loaded the 2.0. She was trying to determine how she would have reacted to this at that time. Working backwards from what she has put together from their past, him choosing to leave would crush her. Through the letter he mentioned her contacting him a few times and wondered if they had come up with a protocol, but if they had he wouldn't be so upfront about it. Going through it again she found it unbelievable what their love has survived, not only the problems each brought to the table, but the government, and almost fate with the things he briefly described. He was so sad, but hopeful; confused yet attuned to the way her mind worked. Apparently he went to train as a spy and it did not go well, she had planned for them to run, he turned her down, and on their initial mission back she struck him for the cover, but had a little extra on it. She wondered if he had ever said he loved her before writing it in the letter, she guessed not because of the way he built up to it. Again she tried to imagine reading it and whether the line would heal or cause her regret.

One thing she did pick up on was that he was being cautious, he avoided most of their missions almost entirely instead concentrating on his training and things that would appear insignificant. Looking over that passage she picked up on the clue for contacting him; it was a simple one, if she was right, but with no threatening details an analyst would have looked over the letter once then put it away in storage, just in case. She grabbed a pen and post-it and went through the letter concentrating on a specific item, numbers. Finishing she looked over what she put down on the yellow square and realized she was right. Putting that aside for the moment she took another deep breath and decided to read the letter again without any filters or looking for anything specific. It started simply enough with a plea for her not to tear it up, he apologized for the train station and explained why he was doing this including he thought it was the only way they could have a future together. He described his training how it started so well and then everything fell completely apart and was sent home. Her emotions started to overcome her as thoughts of their difficulty flooded her mind. Her having to hold back with him, teasing about what she… no they had wanted so desperately and not having any idea what to do to get it, but he had a plan. Granted it wasn't a plan she would approve of, but she understood it and why he needed to be a spy for them to truly be together.

Finishing the letter and setting it down she could feel the headache start and she quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed two migraine tablets and downed them with some water. She grabbed her phone and called Chuck again and again it went to voicemail. Now starting to worry and knowing that could only exacerbate what was coming she took another drink of water, found the post-it and decided to text those numbers to Morgan. After a minute she was lightened by hearing the beep of a response. 'r u ok'. Realizing it was Morgan who was texting; she had made sure when Chuck and her would text it was with actual words using the loss of physical contact as her method of punishment. She typed to have Chuck call her ASAP. Surprisingly another text beep came up which read. 'Phone is dead, almost there, please lie down'. Deciding she'd already done enough she went to the only place she could lay, their bed. She felt relaxed although the headache was upon her along with what seemed like snapshots of what had to be their past missions. They seemed to just flip through so fast she just closed her eyes for a moment.

"Hey, sleepyhead; how are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly pretty good, my headache is gone and it wasn't that bad… really Chuck maybe taking the pills right when it was coming on helped. I guess it's time to move the bed." She started to get up and Chuck was right next to her just in case she felt dizzy, but she felt good she also noticed that it was dark outside and all the furniture they were taking was not there. "Chuck. I fell asleep?"

"Yes, we had stopped off at CI to check on Alex and there was a hit on some code that I needed to take care of right away. We figured you would have everything ready so we also had picked up lunch for you: 4 V no O. They are in the fridge as I'd think you are hungry. We were just leaving with your slices when Morgan got your text. I am so sorry I put the charger on my phone last night but forgot the UPS was in the car and didn't plug the charger to the wall. You sure you are alright?" He said concerned, but heading to the kitchen, "Go back to the bed it's the only place to sit down."Chuck soon reappeared with the four vegetarian no olive slices, a bottle of water, and the bottle of pills.

"Four slices? People will start talking Chuck." She said teasingly.

"It was a mistake; they will be looking all over you trying to figure out where you put it. I guess that's what happens when you get a pizza named after you."

"I can't be the only person that eats it and remember nobody else finds out about it." She said sternly, not hearing a reply, "Chuck, what have you done?"

Chuck gave his mock insulted face morphing into his A-smile, "Nothing that you can blame me for, you allowed your picture to be taken, and being so incomprehensibly photogenic and cute." She blushed and hit his leg. "Mr. Vitiello posted it on Facebook and Twitter announcing the Sarah pizza. So maybe you won't be the only one now." He teased.

Sarah tried to think of the problems this picture could cause; as she was the face of CI she had done an interview for Business Weekly with one photo that was her in the office behind her desk. The photographer was begging for the chance to take more photos before adding the part of going to his studio where he wanted to 'capture the essence of her breathtaking beauty'. Not knowing her husband was standing behind him he started to go into more detail and cried out as the full effect of the Atomic Wedgie hit. The reporter came in during the studio visit description and apologized vehemently; the photographer not quite as generous asked for a check. Chuck took him to the far corner, said something to him and pressed a button. The man shaken set up his camera and followed Chuck to where he pointed, he asked Sarah to please sit down and a moment later asked her to stand with her arms outstretched. He picked up his camera and left with Chuck following him closely.

"You're still upset about that first pictorial I sabotaged."

She giggled, "Obviously, now my big break I have pizza sauce on my face."

"Well the man did expand his delivery radius for you. With half a slice left I think you may be ready to take on Devon next time."

"What?" looking down it was more like two bites left, she shrugged, smiled , then finished her lunch that was now dinner. "My undercover days are already over so it's not a big deal. How did I look?" As she brought her paper plate and bottle to the trash bag, she suddenly looked over everything at the emptiness and sighed at the sight.

He at first gave an incredulous look as it wasn't possible for her not to be the most gorgeous person to walk upon the earth. At the sigh he finally said something, "It's ok to miss this, but our new home is for lack of a better term 'Awesome'."

Still giggling she said, "No, it's not that. I am going to miss this, but I know we are going to have so many great times in our new house. It's a much better feeling than last time."

"Last time?"

"After our mission in the suburbs when you wanted to go back to the house and I rebuffed you," she said wiping a tear, "Casey and I had to go back and do an inventory, in the end with everything gone I felt as desolate as the house. That there was nothing inside of me, only a pretty exterior; but you hung in there, giving me another chance that I had no right to hope for. Here we are actually doing this and I have never felt so full of joy. I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am for you. You have always been my hero and the person I would most want to be like."

Chuck had placed her in an embrace the moment 'pretty exterior' was said. He did not want to say how worried he was after finding her on their bed. Checking her vitals and seeing they were fine and that she was breathing relaxed and normal gave him some comfort. Looking over the letter he tried to remember exactly what he had written and knew that while most of it was superficial to keep the translators from making a big deal about it there were some items that had meaning to both of them. Until she woke up though, he could not relax. He and Morgan loaded up the truck and while Morgan said he would bring it to the house, Chuck wasn't going to let her wake up alone; who knows what memory good or bad she would recover. "Sarah, I didn't know you and Casey went back to do an inventory." He said kissing the top of her head his voice full of hope.

"I know Chuck." She turned and smiled as did he. Both with the knowledge that while the memories didn't matter about them being together this allowed them to once again truly share everything they've gone through without fear as they continued to embrace their future.

_**A/N: Well here this story ends. Sappy, I know. I had the letter written out, but a lot of it was already stated in Chapter 4 so it felt redundant. Thanks for reading. As I didn't print out the letter, the numbers were for a burner phone that was the item Chuck had insisted on bringing to the bunker that Beckman had protested. Originally I was going to have Sarah call that number with the burner phone in one of the packing boxes, but thought a phone lasting that long stretched even the logic of the Chuckverse.**_


End file.
